Some people say that violence in the media promotes violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
Many argue that the depiction of violence in the mass media encourages violence in society. I entirely agree with this opinion and believe that violent media content contributes to the prevalence of violence in society because it severely influences people and influences individuals to show aggressive behaviour.
Regular exposure to violence in the media can encourage people to commit real-life actsencourage people to real-life acts of violence. When the portrayal of violence in media becomes frequent, it may reduce emotional response and the sensefeeling of shock associated with violent behaviour. Over time, people tend to lose their inhibitions about violence, thereby adopting greater tolerance of aggressive behavioura tolerant attitude towards aggressive behaviour. A recent study, for instance, has revealed that people who consume a substantial amount of violent media content, such as violent films or video games, may become used to violence. This normalisation of violence in someone's mind can make individuals less empathetic towards victims of violence and tend to engage in violent behaviour.
Likewise, media violenceLikewise, media violence also promotes violence through glamorization. That is,That is to say that the media often depicts violence in a way that glamorizes perpetrators as heroic, powerful and victorious. This, in turn, can create the strong impressionan overwhelming impression that violence is a necessary means of solving problems, achieving goals, or gaining dominance. Such depictions tend to encourage people, especially those with aggressive tendenciesthose who are vulnerable to aggressive tendencies, to view violence as a heroic act. For example, research carried out by psychologist L. Rowell Huesmann found that teenagers who watched manyextensive hours of violent TV shows in which violence was associated with heroismviolent TV shows associated with heroism when they were in primary school were more likely to exhibit higher levels of aggressive behaviour when they became adults.
To conclude, I think that media violence breeds violence in the community because it can desensitize individuals to violence and also encourage them to perform violent acts.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response takes an unambiguous position and develops two persuasive, relevant mechanisms—desensitisation and glamorisation—with focused explanation and support. Progression and vocabulary are strong, but a few awkward constructions and faulty clause relationships slightly reduce precision, particularly where people are encouraged to real-life acts or made less empathetic and then tend to offend. Refine these isolated sentence-level errors while preserving the essay’s clear structure and depth.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and both main reasons are relevant, well developed, and supported with specific examples.
Make the research example’s connection to glamorised heroic violence fully explicit so every detail directly advances the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion with well-managed cohesion.
Reduce slight lexical repetition around violence and encourages when linking adjacent claims.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide and generally precise, with effective language for desensitisation, empathy, glamorisation, and aggression.
Refine the few unnatural combinations, especially encourage people to real-life acts and watched extensive hours.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong overall control, while a few clause and complementation errors remain.
Correct parallel structures and verb complements so phrases such as make individuals less empathetic and tend to engage have a single grammatical subject.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that violence in the media promotes violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.