Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
Sample Response
In today's modern world, numerous studiesresearches have been conducted around the globe in order to improve the personality and the development of an individual. There is a recent studyone recent research which has clearly shown that the personality and development of a person are highly likely to depend on the characteristics that they are born with rather than on their life experiencesas compared to other experiences in their life. However, I believe a person's experiencesexperiences of a person will have a greater impact on one's personality and development.
Undoubtedly, if we could utilise the experiencesexperience we gain from working or travelling abroad, we would be more mature and more open-minded. Whenever we arrive in a new place, we can learn about local cultures and traditionslearn the cultures and traditions from the locals in order to acquire more information about the lifestyles of others and eventually become more knowledgeable. Besides, we may learn how to respect and not criticisenot to criticise the customs of other culturesraces which may be slightly or totally different from ours. By doing so, we can actually benefitget benefited by being able to look at problemsthe problems from various perspectivesa various perspective.
We may also become more independentself-independent than others if we livedlive in a harsh environment when we were young. To illustrate, in China, many children have to sacrifice their studies and come out to work from a young agesince they were small. They are proved to have the ability to make more mature decisions on their own in a research conducted in China between those who are affluent and those who live in poverty. Moreover, people who face a lot of hardships in their lives will have a detailed plan of what to do next. For instance, they will organise their expenditure well, meaning thatwhich in other words, they will not spend money on unnecessary things, especially those luxurious items. Therefore, it is apparent that experiences gained from various fieldsa various field in their lives have a huge influence on one's personality and development.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that life experience has major consequences on our personalities and developments than the characteristics that we are born with. We will be able to think from different perspectives and make wise decisions if we use the experiences that we gained in our daily live.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and develops two relevant lines of support, using travel and hardship to explain how experience can shape outlook and decision-making. Its ideas progress logically, but some evidence is asserted rather than convincingly analysed, and recurring collocation, word-form, and grammatical errors weaken precision. The highest priority is to make the comparison with innate characteristics more explicit while editing for natural academic phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is consistently supported by two relevant, developed arguments about the influence of experience.
Compare each argument more explicitly with innate characteristics and substantiate broad claims with credible evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with clear sequencing despite some mechanical transitions and awkward referencing.
Create smoother links between claims and examples instead of relying heavily on stock connective phrases.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often appropriately academic, though recurring collocation and word-form errors limit precision.
Revise unnatural combinations and countability choices, especially research, perspectives, fields, and life experiences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, tense, and comparison remain noticeable.
Proofread complex sentences for consistent tense and accurate noun, article, and comparative forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.