The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution.
Sample Response
Our world is experiencing a massive increaseis experimenting massive increase in population and thereby not only well-developed countries suffer from this overpopulation. AlthoughDespite governments are trying to solve this issue, population increases year by year. This causes huge problems in all of the countries like scarcity of foodfoods, unemployment, crowded cities, increased crime and so on. Educating people would be the best possible solution to tackle this problem.
The most common problem of overpopulation is that people cannot find jobs. Thereby, people cannot get the opportunity to work, because that country is overpopulatedoverflooded with population and there is athe scarcity of employment. In addition, crowded citiesAnd, also, crowded cities are not attractive and there persists a lot of noise that is very annoying. For this reason, this may lead to a decline in urban tourismdepression in the tourism of cities. Also, an increase in populationincreasing in the population is inversely proportional to the development level of the country. This might also have serious effectsAnd this might have enormous effects on government politically. The food crisis, growth in crime rates, noise and air pollution, housing problem all emerge only because of the increased population.
In spite of these issues, governments have solutions to cope with itgovernments have solutions to cope. Even, there are some regulations that are designeddedicated to solve this problem. For instance, overpopulated countries have such legislation which prohibits 2 and more children per family. Educating people and building an educated nation is the only solution to this seriousheinous problem. Until the citizens become educated and understand the effects of having more family members in their family and in the country, other measures that the government take would be valueless.
In conclusion, the countries thatwho are suffering from this problem should take proper initiatives and measuresproper initiative and measurement for solutions to fight against it. And politics and the government have vital roles to play on this occasion along with the awareness among the citizens.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies several relevant consequences of overpopulation and offers education and public awareness as a consistent solution. However, it lists more problems than it develops, repeats the solution without explaining its practical mechanism, and frequent structural and word-choice errors make the progression uneven. Focus on two major problems, explain their causes and effects, then show concretely how family planning or education would reduce population growth using shorter, accurately linked sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses problems caused by overpopulation and suggests education as the main solution. Coverage is relevant but broad, with several problems listed rather than developed, and the solution is repeated without much practical detail.
Choose two major problems, such as unemployment and housing pressure, then explain exactly how education or family planning would reduce population growth.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is an introduction, problem paragraph, solution paragraph, and conclusion, but progression is weakened by repetition, sentence fragments, and list-like organisation. Some linking words are inaccurate.
Use topic sentences and develop one idea at a time instead of adding many problems with and, also, and so on.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary communicates the topic, but there are frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations, including experimenting, overflooded, depression in tourism, heinous, and measurement for solutions.
Learn precise population vocabulary such as rapid population growth, food shortage, unemployment, overcrowding, family planning, and public awareness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Errors with sentence structure, clauses, articles, prepositions, and agreement are frequent. Meaning is usually understandable, but accuracy is limited.
Write shorter sentences and check clause patterns after despite, because, and until.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population. This is causing problems not only for the poor in undeveloped countries but also for industrialised and developing nations. Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes, and suggest at least one possible solution.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.