A number of different medical traditions are now widely known and used: Western medicine (using drugs and surgery), herbal medicine, acupuncture (using needles at certain points of the body), homoeopathy (using minute doses of poisons), and so on. How important is the patient’s mental attitude towards his/her treatment in determining the effectiveness of the treatment?

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 6)

Sample Response

1

Today, plenty of medical methods are used by professionals to treat patientscure humans. These methods have different impacts via different mechanisms to control the development of each disease. I believe that the bond between a patient and a doctorbonding between patient and doctor is extremely important because it can raise the level of confidence between them, and the patient will receive more appropriate treatmenta more accurate therapy.

2

Apparently, despite using modern medication introduced by developed countries, alternative medicine, hypnotism or other traditional methods have not been forgotten yet. For exampleIn this way, in China, traditional medicine has been used by many medical professionals at universitiesprofessionals teaching medicine in university, and different methods are applied to cure debilitated patientshumans, like putting needles on different parts of the feetdifferent parts of feet to relieve musculoskeletal pains.

3

In addition, doctor-patient communication is a very important factor and positive reinforcement is a leading strategy that many health professionals usually use to increase confidence in each medical treatmentenhance the level of reliability of each medical treatment. Clearly, having greater self-confidencea better self-confidence, a medical doctor can show his or her abilities to cure diseases and be more successful in identifyingbecome prosperous in finding the causes of their patients’ problems. In particular, an experienced psychologist can relieverelief the symptoms of a depressed patient better when he is supported mentally by using some hypnotism techniques. His physician can explain the mechanism of this type of medical induction in detail and build trust between themraise the trustworthy between them.

4

Another reasonfactor why a patient should be familiar with the process of his treatment is that he will become more consistent in taking medicationpunctual in using of drugs. Definitely, to reach the maximum effect of each medicationthe maximum of influence of each medication, including modern or alternative medicine, people must use prescribed drugs accurately. A perfect healthcare employee must value his or her patients’ opinions and explain the details of the proceduregive the detail of procedure while ensuring that the ethical aspects of therapy are not overlookedas long as ethical issues of therapy are not being missed. For example, a person diagnoseda one being diagnosed with a advancedprogressed cancer must be informed whether some alternative medicines might be more important than chemotherapyhow much some alternative medicines might be important than chemotherapy, and their possibleoncoming side effects must precisely be explained to the patient. As a result, this patient will be able to select these therapies instead of using chemical therapiesinstead of usage of chemical therapies.

5

In conclusion, reliability is an essential factor for receiving a better healthcare service. From my point of view, knowing about the details of treatment and having mutual relationship between doctor and patient, are the two important reasons that increase the speed of improvement of diseases.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response’s clearest strength is its consistent view that trust, information and communication can shape treatment outcomes, supported by points about confidence and adherence. Its main limitation is that much of the discussion shifts from the patient’s mental attitude to doctors’ behaviour, treatment choice and medical procedures, with some examples remaining unclear. Prioritise a direct explanation of how optimism, trust or anxiety affects effectiveness, then develop each link with a precise example.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.0
Scoring rule

A clear position is maintained and relevant links to confidence and adherence are made, although several ideas drift away from the patient’s mental attitude.

Next step

Focus every paragraph on a specific mental state and explain directly how it changes the effectiveness of treatment.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The response follows a recognisable progression from trust and communication to treatment adherence, but some paragraph links and internal reasoning are loose.

Next step

Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and connect each example explicitly to that idea before moving on.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

There is a useful range of health-related vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.

Next step

Replace unnatural combinations with precise phrases such as treatment effectiveness, relieve symptoms, build trust and follow a prescription.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, though recurring article, preposition, agreement and clause-control errors affect fluency.

Next step

Check sentence subjects and verb forms carefully, then simplify long clauses whose grammatical relationships are unclear.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

A number of different medical traditions are now widely known and used: Western medicine (using drugs and surgery), herbal medicine, acupuncture (using needles at certain points of the body), homoeopathy (using minute doses of poisons), and so on. How important is the patient’s mental attitude towards his/her treatment in determining the effectiveness of the treatment?

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