Some people think it is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment for people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Health is a major concern and a frequently discussed topica major concern and hot topic all the time to discuss. The incidence of major diseases is increasingMajor diseases are increasing and quality of life is decliningdecreasing nowadays. I believe that prevention is better than cure. I strongly agree that governments should spend money and time to promote healthy lifestyles, in order to prevent the diseases than spending money that who are suffering from terminal illness.
Firstly terminal illness, like cancer, renal disease, delirium all this cannot be cured can only manage the symptoms experienced by clients. Secondly how much money we spend on thesethis diseases can only increasealso only can increase the lifespan and cannot providenot able to provide quality of life. However, all these terminal illnessesall this terminal illness can be preventedpreventable, if they take care of themselves by maintainingtake care themselves from maintaining healthy habits. Thirdly, to treat and manage these terminal diseases, the cost of treatmentthese terminal diseases the cost of treatment is very high. However, people use insurance and med save, still not enough that money they need to top-up additionally to take treatment. Many patients are unableMany clients they unable to manage their conditionsmanage them and are hospitalised frequentlyhospitalised frequently.
Turning to disease preventionComing to the prevention of diseases, many people arewere educated in this modern world, so it is easy to educate peopleso that easy to educate everybody on how to prevent diseases and to promoteand as well as to promote quality of life. The government should spend the money to promote healthy eating habitsadvertise on healthy eating habits, management of stress, diseases caused by drinking alcohol and smoking. Many major diseases caused by long-term diseases, for example, diabetes and hypertension. The government should conduct free health camps at least twice a year to screen the people and give the health education how to manage diabetes, hypertension. So that people can manage their health at home and also can prevent major diseases caused by them.
To sum up, since, many major diseases caused by poor healthy habits, stress and long-term diseases. So that I strongly agree that government spend the money on advertising on how to prevent illness than cure the terminal illness.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear preference for prevention and offers several relevant policy ideas, including health education and screening. Its main limitation is that the reasoning relies on broad or inaccurate claims about terminal and preventable illnesses, while frequent grammatical errors make several sentences difficult to process. The highest-priority improvement is to build one medically plausible argument at a time and express each supporting point in complete, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position and relevant prevention measures are presented, but key claims are overgeneralised and development is uneven.
Support the preference for prevention with realistic evidence while acknowledging why treatment for existing illness still requires funding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The broad paragraph sequence is understandable, although mechanical numbering, repetition, and fragments weaken the flow within ideas.
Organise each body paragraph around one reason and connect complete supporting sentences through clear cause-and-effect progression.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate health-related vocabulary for the topic, but repetition and inaccurate collocations frequently limit precision.
Use more precise distinctions among prevention, chronic disease, terminal illness, treatment, and public-health spending.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and verb patterns reduce control and sometimes impede readability.
Prioritise complete subject-verb sentences and check agreement and verb forms before attempting longer complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think it is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment for people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.