There are various reasons for attending colleges and universities and getting a job is definitely one of them. However, many other reasons drive us to enrol in a college or university. Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Sample Response
Most peopleMost of the people perceive that tertiary educationa tertiary level of education is important. So they attend colleges and universities for certain reasons. It is because enrolling to these institutions will later give them a better and convenient life as well as to make them academically knowledgeable that subsequently use in their future circumstances as will now be analysed. Firstly, one reason behind why people continue to pursue their education at universities is that this will give them a comfortable life. For instance, I finished my bachelor’s degree in nursing at the University of Baguio in Baguio Citycity, Philippines. Then successfully passed my national exam and has worked in one of the best hospitals in Melbourne, Australia, the Royal Melbourne Hospital. I have had a good paying job and nursing career that enabled me to providemade me provide not only my basic needs but also the needs of my familyphysiological needs of my family. In fact, I was able to buy my family a Ferrari van that makes travelling easier and more convenient for themmakes their transportation easy and convenient. So this is one of the good reasons why people want to complete a college or university educationfinish the college or university education. Another reason people go to colleges is that they wantcolleges is they want to gain academic knowledge that they can later usebecome academically knowledgeable that would later be used in their future encounters. For example, while studying nursing at my university, I becamebecome a critical thinkercritically-minded individual because I learned to reason logicallyreason out soundly and make better decisionshave made better decisions in my life. I also learnedI also have known the scientific method of problem-solving which I always use whenever I face inevitable conflicts. Thus, this purpose can also be seen as a reasoncan be seen also a reason for people to go to colleges and universities. In conclusion, to have a better and convenient life with own family in the future, and to become academically knowledgeable that would be later used in their future circumstances are two of the many purposes that people think why they go to colleges and universities. There are many different reasons why they do this. So I think that it hasis always been a good idea to continue and pursue higher educationa higher education, so go and enrol at a universityenroll to universities.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear answer and uses detailed personal examples to explain how higher education can improve life and intellectual ability. Its main limitations are narrow and repetitive development, weak paragraph separation, and frequent awkward or inaccurate sentence construction. The highest-priority improvement is to organise each distinct reason into a focused paragraph and express the supporting explanation in shorter, grammatically controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay identifies relevant reasons and supports them at length, but the discussion is narrow, repetitive, and heavily dependent on personal examples.
Present a broader range of clearly distinct motivations and explain their general relevance instead of relying mainly on one personal story.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall sequence is understandable and basic linking is present, but the response lacks effective paragraphing and repeats ideas and phrasing mechanically.
Use separate introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with one central reason and a concise supporting chain in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss education and its benefits, including some less common items, but awkward collocations and repetition are frequent.
Replace unnatural combinations with standard academic phrasing and use referencing to avoid repeatedly restating colleges, universities, and future circumstances.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, but frequent errors in tense, agreement, articles, infinitives, and clause construction reduce accuracy.
Build shorter complete sentences and check that every finite verb agrees with its subject and matches the intended time reference.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There are various reasons for attending colleges and universities and getting a job is definitely one of them. However, many other reasons drive us to enrol in a college or university. Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.