Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
Sample Response
Many offenders tend toMost criminals tend to commit crimes again oncecrimes again, once they are released from prisonjail. This is mainly because of the lack of rehabilitation in prisons and also the difficulty they face in finding employment. There are several solutionsa lot of solutions to overcome this situation. In this essay, we will explain why offenders commit further crimesthe criminals commit the same crime again and the waysreasons to overcome this.
The main reason for the recurrence of crimerepetition of crimes is the lack of reskilling options in jails. Since they are unable to find suitable employmentthe right employment, they resort to illegalunfair means to earn their daily bread. Another reason is that the laws are not strict enoughthere aren’t strict laws to keep them under control.
Some effective measures are imposing strict punishments and improving their skills such as handicrafts, fashion design and cateringskills like craft making, fashion designing, catering and so on. They will be engaged in work once they are out of prison and become self-sufficientsustained.
To sum up, the government must closely monitor the criminals even after they are out of prison and ensure that there is a reduction in the crime ratea reduction in crime rate so that we can make the world a better place to live in.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its clear organisation and direct identification of rehabilitation, employment, punishment, training, and monitoring as relevant factors. However, at 186 words, the ideas are too briefly stated to answer the task in sufficient depth, and some wording is imprecise; the highest priority is to reach the required length by fully explaining how each cause leads to reoffending and how each proposed measure would work.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed, but the markedly short response offers limited explanation and support for most causes and solutions.
Develop two principal causes and two matched measures with clear reasoning, consequences, and concrete examples in at least 250 words.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear introduction-body-conclusion sequence, though the very short body paragraphs limit the progression of ideas.
Build fuller body paragraphs in which each topic sentence is followed by explanation, a result, and a relevant example.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some useful crime-related language, but the range is limited and several collocations are inaccurate.
Use more precise expressions such as secure stable employment, vocational training, social reintegration, and reduce reoffending.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the main message clearly, although awkward constructions and minor punctuation errors recur.
Revise unclear structures, especially phrases such as reasons to overcome this, and check comma placement and reference words.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.