Some people believe that people should be allowed to work only till a set retirement age. Others say that if people want to work, age should not be a barrier to them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Whether individuals should be permitted to work beyond a fixed retirement age is widely debatedis often debatable. While some believe that people should be free to continue working as long as they are willing and able, others argue that a set retirement age should be enforced. In my opinion, enforcingmaintaining a mandatory retirement age is necessary to promote fairness and efficiency and create opportunitiesnecessary to ensure fairness, efficiency, and opportunities for younger generations.
Supporters of the idea that people should work beyond a fixed retirement agework beyond a fixed age often cite personal freedom and professional experiencecite personal freedom and experience. They argue that many older adults remain physically and mentally capable of contributing productively to the workforce. Preventing them from doing so could be seen as age discrimination. For instance, experienced professionals such as teachers, consultants, or craftsmen often possess valuable skills that can continue to benefit societyskills that can still benefit society. Additionally, for some individuals, work provides a sense of identity and purpose, and forcing them into retirement could negatively affect their mental well-being.
Proponents of a fixed retirement ageThe proponents of a fixed retirement age argue that this practice ensures a balanced and sustainable job market. As older workers retire, new positions open up for younger people, reducing youth unemployment and allowing for fresh ideasfresh ideas and innovation to enter the workforce. For example, in countries such as Japancountries like Japan, where retirement is strictly enforced, companies have been able to modernize by bringing in younger, tech-savvy employees. Furthermore, older workers may not always be able to keep up with the physical or technological demands of certain jobs, which could compromise productivity and safety.
In conclusion, while the desire to remain active beyond retirement age is understandable, I believe a fixed retirement age is essential to maintain economic balanceprotect the economic balance, promote fairness, and ensure the continued evolution of the workforce.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay addresses both views directly, states a clear opinion, and develops each side through relevant explanations in a smoothly organised structure. Its principal weakness is that the Japan example and some claims about older workers are asserted too broadly, so the highest-priority improvement is to qualify these claims and use a more demonstrably credible example to strengthen the argument’s precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both perspectives are fully addressed, the writer’s position is clear throughout, and the main ideas receive relevant support.
Qualify broad claims about national retirement practices and older workers so the supporting evidence is more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure creates clear progression, with each body paragraph developing one side of the debate coherently.
Link the evaluation of the two views more explicitly so the preference for mandatory retirement emerges through comparison as well as assertion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriately academic, with strong control of topic-specific expressions.
Replace a few broad phrases such as “economic balance” with more exact wording that names the intended labour-market effect.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences with consistently accurate grammar and punctuation.
Preserve this accuracy while varying the structure of supporting sentences to add further stylistic flexibility.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that people should be allowed to work only till a set retirement age. Others say that if people want to work, age should not be a barrier to them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.