Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Some people favour sharing information for researchresearch works, business development and academic purposesneeds without any limitsfilters or restrictions. Others, however, feel differently and argueopine that sensitive and valuable information should not be shared in any case. Both parties have their reasons, and this essay will examine both perspectives. I personally tend to believe that not all information should be shared freely, even for scientific and business purposesscientific, research and business purposes.
Those who support unrestrained access to all information say that when information is made available to organisations, scientists, researchers, and academics, it is best utilisedthey are best utilised. Since those people work to producebring innovations, restricting their access torestricting them from accessing important information can hinder progress. For instance, if expert economists are denied access to the state's financial data, they would neither be able to guide the nation towardsfor a better financial future nor warn the nation aboutalert the nation in case of an imminent financial crisis.
On the other hand, proponents of restricting access to important data believe that some information should never be shared because its release can sometimes be catastrophicit can sometimes be catastrophic. For instance, if a state allows businesses to have unrestricted access to all citizens' dataall the data related to citizens, the organisations would start violating citizens' privacy. They would start using the data for their business gains while also selling the data to other companies. Moreover, nations have intelligence and defence agencies, and if their findings are shared with academics and researchers, they would end up falling into the wrong hands and thus compromising the state's sovereignty and defensive capabilitypower of defence.
Considering all these aspects, I believe that a state should share information that can bring innovation and help the nation progress, and at the same time, make some data restricted so that bad people do not have access to such critical and sensitive data.
In conclusion, information is immensely important when it is properly utilisedwhen they are properly utilised and cancould also be destructive if they are misused by the wrong people. This is why the information should be shared for the betterment of the nation but some sensitive data should always remain restrictedshould never be made restricted.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response addresses both perspectives, maintains a clear qualified opinion, and supports its case with relevant examples involving financial data, privacy, and national security. Its main weakness is occasional imprecise wording and a contradictory final statement about whether sensitive data should be restricted. The priority is to proofread the conclusion so it accurately restates the nuanced position and preserves precise reference throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly discussed with relevant support, and a clear nuanced opinion is maintained until the contradictory final clause.
Make the conclusion restate unambiguously that beneficial information may be shared while sensitive information remains restricted.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing generally managed effectively.
Combine the brief penultimate opinion paragraph with the conclusion to avoid repeating the position across two closing paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise academic vocabulary supports the argument, despite occasional awkward or vague choices.
Refine expressions such as 'research works', 'business gains', and 'bad people' into more exact academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, although several agreement and reference errors remain.
Check singular uncountable nouns and their pronouns, particularly keeping 'information' consistently paired with 'it'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.