'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Sample Response
It is true that telecommuting has revolutionised our life inon many ways. I believeIn my opinion, I believe that telecommuting has both positive and negative effects on our society.
On the one hand, telecommuting has many benefits foron our planet generally and our social life specifically. Firstly, telecommuting could reduce pressure on the Earth’s resourcesearth resources. TelecommutersTelecommuting commuters tend to travel less to their workplaces. As a result, this could decrease pressure on urban infrastructureinfrastructures like roads and public transportation services and ultimately could save fossil fuelsnatural fossil resources and decrease pollution. Secondly, working from home could improvemodify our family relationships. People spend more time with their families and this increasesincrease family cohesiontidiness and stability. For instance, some social workers link telecommuting with lowerdecrease divorce rates in many Westernwestern countries. It is a very effective way to enhance the performance of the employees and thus producing increased output for a company. This reduces coststhe costs and ensures better profitability. One of the main objectives of technological advancement is the faster and more tasks done per hour. Telecommuting achieves this effectivelyensures this very perfectly.
On the other hand, telecommuting could have some negative impacts. One problem is that working from home could result in many health problems. Telecommuting forces people to be less physically active and spend more time at a deskmove less and do more desk jobs. This sedentary lifestyle could lead to many health problems such as obesityhealth problems like obesity. Another drawback of telecommuting is that it may negatively affect our social lifeaffect our social life negatively. Working from home without in-person workplace contactwithout exposure to real work life could reduce people’s interpersonal skillspeople interaction skills and could ultimately lead to social isolation.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of telecommuting toon our health and social life are more significant than the possible benefits.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses the question directly and organises several positive and negative social effects into a readily understandable discussion. Its main limitation is uneven development: some claims, particularly about divorce rates and productivity, are asserted or loosely connected, and frequent collocational and grammatical errors reduce precision. Prioritise explaining each major effect more convincingly while correcting recurring agreement, preposition, and noun-phrase errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay considers a relevant range of societal effects and reaches a clear conclusion, but several positive claims are insufficiently explained or supported.
Develop fewer effects in greater depth by showing a credible chain from telecommuting to each claimed social outcome.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall positive-versus-negative structure is clear, though the first body paragraph shifts abruptly among environmental, family, and business effects.
Group closely related effects together and use topic sentences that accurately signal each paragraph’s main focus.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss the topic, but recurring inaccurate collocations such as ‘family tidiness’ and ‘decrease divorce rates’ weaken precision.
Build control of common academic collocations, including ‘family cohesion’, ‘lower divorce rates’, and ‘reduce pressure on resources’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are mixed with generally clear meaning, but agreement, preposition, and noun-phrase errors occur repeatedly.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and grammatical noun phrases, correcting forms such as ‘this increases’ and ‘people’s interaction skills’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.