Some companies say that if an employee wants to smoke they must leave the building and smoke outside. This takes time away from work, and the employers insist that this time should be counted as break time. This may not be fair to the smokers who may have to wait a long time to get out of the building. How could this problem be resolved?
Sample Response
It is a common concern among employers that their employees who smoketheir smoker employees take too many breakstake too much break and these short periodsthis few times should be counted as unproductive timenon-effective hours and even they should not be paid for this timeshould not be paid for them. In my opinion, employers are free to recruit only non-smokerschoose all of their employees among non-smokers and if they want to employ a smoker, they should not complainwhine about some short breaks that they take to satisfy their need to smokesatiate their needs. Employers oddly believe that the more someone works, the more they will earnmore someone works more s/he will earn. Although this belief is trueturns out true for machines, it does not apply to human workersthe human resource. On the contrary, more a human being work, more personal needs arise and less productive would the work be. Employers seeking productivityEmployers that are seeking for productivity should recognise the need for breaksappreciate the necessity of breaks, even if they believe that smoking is a bad habit, and provide adequate breaks for everyoneprovide enough breaks for anyone rather than scrutinising employees who take time for themselvescounting employees who try to buy some time for them. If there is an honest concern for smokers' health and justice for non-smokers, probably the best solution would be to encouragewould be that to encourage smokers to quit smoking. For instance, the sixth smoke-free month of a former smokerthe sixth clean month of an old smoker could be awarded a small plaquea little platelet or a cake that they can share with their colleagues to celebrate their healthy new lives. As a corollary to this, the number of breaks would decline. In conclusion, my personal view is that breaks are beneficial for bothbirth employees and employers since the refreshed employee would remain productive. Therefore employers should think about giving more breaks to everyone rather than arguing abouton the breaks that smokers take. If they are not content with the frequency of breaks, they also have an option not to employ the smoker or they can try to help their employees quit smokingwean their employees away from smoking by giving some incentives.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response offers several relevant and potentially workable solutions, especially universal breaks and incentives to quit smoking, and it generally explains how these could protect productivity. Its main limitation is frequent awkward or inaccurate language, alongside a single-block structure that blurs the relationship between the alternatives; the priority is to organise each solution in its own paragraph and express the supporting logic with more controlled grammar and precise wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The problem is addressed with several relevant solutions and support for breaks and cessation incentives, though some proposals need fuller practical evaluation.
Prioritise one workable workplace policy and explain how it would balance smokers’ time, productivity, and fairness.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable sequence from general breaks to quitting incentives and a conclusion, but loose referencing and the single paragraph weaken clarity.
Give each main solution its own paragraph and make the relationship between the alternatives explicit.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a reasonably broad vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations and inaccurate choices such as platelet and birth employees reduce precision.
Choose natural workplace terms and check ambitious words carefully, using award or certificate and both employees and employers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex clauses are attempted often, but agreement, comparison, article, and clause-pattern errors recur throughout.
Practise controlled comparative structures and check subject-verb agreement before adding further clause complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some companies say that if an employee wants to smoke they must leave the building and smoke outside. This takes time away from work, and the employers insist that this time should be counted as break time. This may not be fair to the smokers who may have to wait a long time to get out of the building. How could this problem be resolved?
Your response
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