Some people say that young people should be encouraged to leave home when they become adults, while others claim it is better if they remain with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It is asserted by many that young adults ought to be encouragedmotivated to leave home once they grow up, while others think it is betterothers think it better to stay with their familiesfamily. This essay will explore both perspectives. Personally, I believe that although young adults who stay away from family develop self-reliancedependence and other life skills, staying with family is more important because it ensures financial stability and strongerbetter family relationships.
Those who argue in favour of young adults living independentlyliving independently away from home believe that it helps them acquire independence and practicalessential life skills. Living independently, put simply, requires managing householdhouse chores, financing and other daily responsibilities. Consequently, young people can learn essential life skills that contribute to their maturity and personal growth. A young adult who leaves their parents’ homehis parent's home, for instance, needs to learn how to draw up a budget, pay bills and stickadhere to that budget.
In contrast, proponentsOn the contrary, proponents of young adults staying with family argue that it gives them financial stability and strengthens family bonds. Without a doubt, families can provide a financial safety net for young adults, allowing them to save money on rent, utilities, and other living expensesrent, utilities and other living expenses by sharing the expenses with their familiesfamily. This financial support can allow them to invest in their education and personal growth or saveeducation, and personal growth, or save for their future goals. For example, a youngster who is pursuing tertiary education may choose to remain with his family to reduce the financial burden of rentlighten the financial burden of apartment rent or other household expenditures. Moreover, young adults who stay with their families are more likely to take responsibility when their parents get older. Regular interactionThe constant interactions with family members keep familiesthem close-knit and it helps create a stronger social norma better societal practice in which family comes first. I therefore believe that staying at home is far better for a young adult than leaving homea young adult staying at home is far better than leaving their home.
In conclusion, although staying away from home after reaching adulthood can help them develop self-reliance and other life skills, it is evident that staying at home provides them with financial stability and better family ties, which proves to be far more beneficial.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay discusses both choices clearly, maintains a consistent preference for remaining with family, and supports each side with relevant practical examples. Its strongest feature is the developed explanation of financial security and family bonds, while the main limitation is some repetition and occasional imprecise wording or pronoun reference. Prioritise a more balanced comparative evaluation showing why the family benefits outweigh the independence gained by leaving home.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly discussed, the preference for staying with family is clear throughout, and each side receives relevant explanation and illustration.
Strengthen the evaluation by explicitly weighing financial stability and family support against the independence and life skills gained from leaving.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically paragraphed and progresses clearly from the position through each view to a consistent conclusion, with only minor repetition.
Condense repeated references to financial stability, life skills, and family ties so each paragraph contributes a distinct step in the comparison.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though some collocations such as ‘self-dependence’, ‘managing house chores’, and ‘better societal practice’ are unnatural.
Use idiomatic alternatives such as ‘self-reliance’, ‘doing household chores’, ‘managing finances’, and ‘a culture that values family responsibility’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with good control, while occasional pronoun, possessive, and agreement lapses remain non-impeding.
Maintain consistent number and reference, especially in ‘a young adult … their’, ‘his parents’ home’, and clauses referring back to plural interactions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that young people should be encouraged to leave home when they become adults, while others claim it is better if they remain with their family. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.