The graph below shows the percentage of immigrants to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002.
Sample Response
The bar chart details the proportion of people immigrating to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002. Overall, whilst proportions of immigrantsimmigrant rates from New Zealand and Italy decreased, those of the UK, Vietnam, and India rose in the first half of the period, but later experienced drops in the second half, with Vietnam undergoing the most significant fluctuation.
In 1962, 40% of the immigrants to Australia were Italian, ranking first among the five nations surveyed. The rates of the remaining countries were much lower, with 10% each for the UK and Vietnam, around 8% for New Zealand, and about 2%below 3% for India.
The rankings, however, changed significantly over the next 20 years when the Vietnamese became the dominant group of immigrants, experiencing a two-and-a-half-fold risenearly threefold leap to 25%, whilst the proportion from ItalyItalian rates halved to 20%. In the meantime, the figures for the UK and India rose towere higher, adding up to 17% and 15% respectively. New Zealand’s rate was the only one to show a downward trend, falling moderately to 5%.
In 2002, it can be seen that the proportionsimmigrant demographics were more evenly dispersed. The rates of four of the five countriesfour over five countries (the UK, India, Vietnam, and Italy) each ranged from 12% to 15%accounted for 12-15%, as opposed to a much lower 5%negligible 5% for New Zealand.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response selects and compares the main trends very effectively, with an accurate overview and well-organised supporting data. Its chief weakness is occasional imprecision in expressions such as “adding up to” for separate figures and “four over five countries,” which slightly reduces lexical and grammatical polish. Prioritise precise comparative phrasing and natural quantifier forms while retaining the clear grouping of key features.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies all principal movements, and the body reports the major values and comparisons accurately.
Make the final-year comparison more exact by giving individual figures instead of compressing four countries into a broad range.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview through the three years, with clear paragraphing and effective comparisons.
Use linking phrases only where their logical relationship is exact, especially when moving from ranks to separate values.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of trend and comparison vocabulary is used confidently, though a few collocations are imprecise.
Replace expressions such as “adding up to” and “immigrant demographics” with wording that precisely describes separate proportions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are controlled well, with only occasional localised errors that do not impede meaning.
Proofread quantifier constructions so forms such as “four of the five countries” are consistently accurate.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the percentage of immigrants to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.