The chart gives information about the percentage of overweight men and women in Australia from 1980 to 2010.

Sample Response

1

The bar chart illustrates the percentagerate of overweight adults in Australia, at the start of each decade, beginning in 1980.

2

Overall, it is clear that the percentage of overweight males was significantly higher than that of femaleshigher than females in each year. Additionally, the percentages of overweight men and womenrate of both men and women who were overweight rose over the period shownrose over the research period.

3

In 1980, just under 50% of Australian men were overweight, compared to only about one-third of females, which were the lowest figures for each gender during the research period. Over the next 20 years, the percentages of overweight men and women in Australiarates of overweight male and female citizens in Australia both increased significantlysaw significant increases, with the figure for men reaching a peak of 70% in 2000almost 70% in 2000.

4

From 2000 to 2010, slightly fewer men were overweight, as illustrated by a decline of about two percentage points by 2010a decline of roughly 3% in 2010, whereas the figure for women remained unchanged, with exactly half of Australian women being overweight in the final year.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.0

The response gives a clear overview and accurately identifies the gender gap and overall upward movement, supported by well-chosen figures from the chart. Its main limitation is that the 1990 values and some intermediate comparisons are omitted, so the development is slightly less complete than it could be. Prioritise adding one concise comparison of the 1990 figures while retaining the efficient structure and precise language.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

The key trends, gender contrast, peak, and final changes are reported accurately, though the 1990 figures receive no specific coverage.

Next step

Add a concise 1990 comparison to make the account more fully representative of all four years.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

8.0
Scoring rule

The four-paragraph structure is logical, and progression from the overview through the main time periods is easy to follow.

Next step

Link the omitted intermediate year explicitly to the later peak so the chronological development is even more complete.

LR

Lexical Resource

8.0
Scoring rule

The response uses a strong range of precise trend and comparison vocabulary with only occasional slightly awkward choices.

Next step

Use percentage or proportion consistently instead of rate where the chart reports shares of the population.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0
Scoring rule

Complex sentences and comparative structures are handled with strong control, with only isolated imprecision in comparison wording.

Next step

Make comparisons grammatically parallel, for example by comparing the percentage of men with the percentage of women.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The chart gives information about the percentage of overweight men and women in Australia from 1980 to 2010.

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