The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.

Same questionCompare 3 different answers (Band 6.5)

Sample Response

1

The pie charts show the spending on housingexpenses made in housing, food, healthcare, education, transportation and other items in a country in 1950 and 2010. As is observed from the pie charts, in 1950 almost two-thirds of expendituretwo-third expenditure was in housing whereas this average expenditure increasedhas been increased for food, transportation etc. in 2010. According to the given data, more than 70% expenditure of the people in this country went on housingwent on in housing in 1950. The second-largest expenditureThe second most expenditure in this country was for food. Spending on other itemsAll other expenditures including healthcare, education, transportation etc. were less than 20% in total. After 60 years the trends of expenditure in this country significantly changed: people’s expenditurechanged. People’s expenditure in housing decreased to only 22% while the expenditure for food increased to just over one-third of the total. Interestingly, the expenditure on education decreased over timedecreased over the time while the expenses for transportation increased to 14%. All other expenditure in 1950 was only 4.4% which increased to roughly 20% in 2010 which indicates the new addition in the category where people started spendingexpensing more than they did in 1950. In summary, the spending patternexpenditure nature of people had changed significantly in 2010 than that had been in 1950 and it is obvious that expenses on food upsurged.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response’s strongest feature is its clear overview of the substantial shift from housing-dominated spending to a more balanced household budget, supported by mostly accurate figures. Its impact is weakened by imprecise details, repetitive and overloaded phrasing, awkward collocations, and inconsistent tense and comparison structures; the priority is to present the largest changes in concise comparative sentences using exact data and natural spending vocabulary.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.0
Scoring rule

The report gives a clear overview of the major shift from housing dominance in 1950 to a more balanced distribution in 2010, and most figures are accurate. Some details are imprecise, and the conclusion repeats rather than adds a sharp comparison.

Next step

Highlight the exact largest increases and decreases: housing fell from 72.1% to 22.0%, while food rose from 11.2% to 34.0% and other spending rose to 19.2%.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The response is logically organised by year and has a summary, but some sentences are overloaded and cohesion is repetitive.

Next step

Use shorter comparative sentences and avoid repeating “expenditure” in nearly every clause.

LR

Lexical Resource

5.5
Scoring rule

Topic vocabulary is adequate but includes awkward collocations such as “expenses made”, “expenditure nature”, and “expensing”.

Next step

Use natural phrases such as “spending on”, “household budget”, “accounted for”, and “allocated to”.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Scoring rule

Grammar is mostly clear but article use, tense choice, and comparative structures are inconsistent.

Next step

Revise sentences with “increased/decreased” and use past simple for the two fixed years.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.

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