The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
Sample Response
These two diagrams illustrate the cement and concrete production processesreveal the flow diagrams of both cement and concrete production processes and the equipment and materials usedwith necessary equipment and materials that are used. OverallMainly, cement production involves several stages, whereas concrete is made in one mixing stageboth processes have similarities and differences. They are similar because each processeach of them has more than one input and a single output. On the other hand, they differ in the number of production steps. In cement productionIn the cement production diagram, firstfirstly, limestone and clay are combinedgathered and passed through a crusher. Then, the powder produced by the crusherpowder obtained from crusher is moved to the mixer to make a homogeneoushomogene mixture. Next, a rotating heater receivesrotating heater welcomes the material from the mixer. After the heating stageAfter heating step, the resulting materialresulting material passes through a grinderflows on the grinder. Finally, cement is packedbecomes ready to be packed in bags after grindingat the end of the grinder. In the concrete production diagram, the process has a single mixing stagethe process contains only one step to have concrete material that is mixing. Cement, water, sand and gravel, which consists of small stones,gravel which is a general name for small stones are all mixed in a rotating concrete mixer in precise proportions ofsuch as 15%, 10%, 25% and 50% respectively.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response accurately explains the complete cement sequence and the single-stage concrete process, including every material and proportion, and its overview makes a useful comparison between the processes. Its main limitation is recurring awkward or inaccurate phrasing despite clear progression. The highest priority is to retain the strong factual coverage while improving articles, prepositions, and process verbs so each stage is described naturally and precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview distinguishes the processes effectively, and all cement stages, equipment, concrete ingredients, and proportions are reported accurately.
Refine the description by stating explicitly that heat is applied as the mixed powder passes through the rotating heater.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from comparison to the cement sequence and then concrete production, with clear chronological linking that is sometimes mechanical.
Group the introduction and overview separately from the two process descriptions and vary sequencing beyond repeated markers such as 'then' and 'next'.
Lexical Resource
Relevant process vocabulary is used with some range, but choices such as 'homogene', 'welcomes the material', and 'flows on the grinder' reduce precision.
Use accurate process collocations such as 'homogeneous mixture', 'passes through the rotating heater', and 'is ground into cement'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence forms convey the processes clearly, though missing articles, faulty prepositions, and awkward clause construction recur.
Strengthen article and preposition control in noun phrases such as 'the crusher', 'the heating stage', and 'into the grinder'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.