The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the number of births per womannumber of births per thousand women in six different GulfArabian countries in 1990 and 2000between 1990 and 2000, with a gap of 10 years. Overall, there was a noticeable drop in the fertility ratefertility rate of women in all six nationsall these six nations over the period, and the largestremarkable drop was recorded in Oman. However, the fertility rate was the highestbirth rate was comparatively higher in Oman compared to other nations in the survey throughout the period. It is clear that though the fertility rate per womanwomen in Oman decreased from 7 to just above 5 in 1990, Oman continuedremained to record the highest fertility rate among the six nationsamong other nations followed by Saudi Arabia over a period of 10 years. The fertility ratefigures for childbirth per thousand women in Saudi Arabia was about 6.7was above 6 in 1990, which dropped to about 5.5well over to 5 in 2000. Notably, whileNoticeably when Qatar and UAE registered almost an equal 4 births per thousand women in the initial year of the survey, Bahrain and Kuwait showed a fertility rate between 3 andto 4. By contrast, after 10 years, Bahrain and Kuwaitboth the nations experienced a similar falling trend in the fertility rates of their women to roughly an equal 3 and just above 2 respectively.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response recognises the universal decline and identifies Oman as showing the largest fall, while giving several broadly correct comparisons. However, it repeatedly reports births per thousand women instead of births per woman, misstates Oman's end-year position and timing, and gives an inaccurate final Bahrain–Kuwait comparison; the highest priority is to check units, years, and equal values directly against the chart before writing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report identifies the overall decline and several country rankings, but the repeated unit error and inaccurate year and end-value comparisons substantially reduce data precision.
Use births per woman throughout, state that Oman and Saudi Arabia were equal in 2000, and report Bahrain and Kuwait as finishing at roughly the same level.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a generally understandable path from the overview to higher- and lower-fertility countries, but the single paragraph and unclear reference to "both the nations" weaken progression.
Separate the overview from details and group Oman and Saudi Arabia apart from the four lower-rate countries with explicit country references.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range for describing change and comparison, but inaccurate measurement terms and awkward collocations recur.
Use precise expressions such as "births per woman," "fell from," "remained the highest," and "recorded similar rates."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but frequent agreement, plural, article, preposition, and comparison errors reduce clarity.
Check subject–verb agreement and use standard forms such as "per woman," "between 3 and 4," and "fell to just over 5."
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.