The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates the way in which greenhouse gases are produced and howare produced and further how these gases trap heat energy from the Sunheat from the sun.
One of the most common waysway gases are released into the earth’s atmosphere is through transport emissionsby means of transport. The engine of a car, plane, motorised boat or other vehicles releases carbon dioxiderelease toxic substances. These emissionsThe pollutants also combinemeet with additionalextra carbon dioxide, emitted byevacuated from power plants or factories which burn fossil fuels, forming a mixtureclutter of man-made pollutants. This effect is also intensified byThe process is fastened also by deforestationthe marring deforestation, which removeslogs trees that could have absorbed the humanman-produced carbon dioxide.
The second stage takes place in the atmosphere, where a part of the energy received from the sun should be reflected back to the outer space. Instead, the greenhouse gases trap the heat, warming up the environment.
Overall, it is easy to notice that pollution itself is a complex process, with roots in the mankind actions.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response explains the basic relationship between emissions, deforestation and heat trapped by greenhouse gases, and its broad progression is easy to follow. However, it adds unsupported transport sources, gives a vague overview and sometimes misrepresents the diagram's causal sequence. The highest-priority improvement is to state a clear process overview and describe only the depicted sources and heat-flow stages with precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response addresses the main causes and heat-trapping effect, but the overview is vague and several details are unsupported or inaccurately related.
Summarise the complete cycle clearly and restrict the details to the depicted vehicles, factory emissions, deforestation, reflected energy and trapped heat.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a broadly logical sequence from greenhouse-gas sources to their atmospheric effect, with clear paragraphing and generally effective links.
Place a precise overview before the detail paragraphs and make the transition from emissions to the movement of solar energy more explicit.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to discuss emissions and heat transfer, but several ambitious choices such as evacuated, clutter and fastened are inaccurate or unnatural.
Use precise process vocabulary such as emitted, released, absorbed, reflected and trapped instead of forcing less suitable synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the process, though agreement, article and noun-form errors recur across the response.
Check subject-verb agreement and noun phrases, especially forms such as one of the most common ways, engines release and human actions.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.