The bar graph below represents data about the clubs joined by people of two different age groups at a leisure centre in a small city.
Sample Response
The bar graph exhibits how many people from two age groups (25-35 and 55-65) joined different clubs offering leisure activitiesaimed for leisure activities in a small urban area. It is obvious that olderelder people preferred gardening while cycling was mostly taken up by younger adultsyoungsters. The diagram suggests that over 500 people between 25 and 65 years old enrolled in one ofenrolled one of the six clubs at this leisure centrein this municipal. Younger adults mostly preferredYouth mostly preferred cycling as about 65more than 65 of them registered for this clubassociation compared to 10 olderelder members. By contrastOn the contrary, gardening was chosengardening was picked up by roughly 55 elder people who were between 55 and 65 years old while only 25 youths took this. Photography was equally preferred as roughly 45 people from each age group joined the photography club. The fitness clubFitness centres enlisted over 100 members and 50 of them were aged inhabitants. The arts and crafts clubArts are crafts clubs collected 60 young members while only 20 elders enrolled there. Finally, music clubs got over a hundred members and the number of younger membersyoung members’ number was slightly higher than that of people over 54 years old.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response covers all six clubs and highlights the clearest age-group contrasts, with generally accurate values and comparisons. Its main limitation is imprecise expression and presentation: the account is compressed into one paragraph, and awkward choices such as municipal, association, and collected weaken clarity. The highest-priority improvement is to group similar and contrasting clubs into focused detail paragraphs while using conventional chart-description language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the strongest age preferences, and all six clubs are covered with comparisons that are generally faithful to the chart.
Use the chart scale precisely when reporting values, particularly describing cycling as about 65 younger members rather than more than 65.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a comprehensible club-by-club sequence, but the single paragraph and repetitive linking make the organisation feel mechanical.
Create two detail paragraphs that group clubs with large age differences separately from those with similar memberships.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the task, though several word choices and collocations, including elder people, municipal, and clubs collected, are unnatural.
Use precise terms such as older participants, leisure centre, joined, and attracted members consistently throughout the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response shows some controlled complex sentences, but errors with prepositions, noun forms, and phrasing recur without seriously obscuring meaning.
Review verb-preposition patterns and noun phrases, especially enrolled in a club and the number of younger members.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar graph below represents data about the clubs joined by people of two different age groups at a leisure centre in a small city.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.