The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.
Sample Response
The line graph shows the number of visits to two different music sitesusers of two different music sites namely Music Choice and Pop Paradenamely, Music choice and Pop parade within two weeks. It is clear that both music sites experienced a significant increase in terms of their number of visitors towards the end of the period. It is also noticeable that Pop Parade received more visits than Music Choice for most of the periodmore people used Music Choice than Pop parade throughout most of the period.
Turning to details, the number of visits to Pop Parade was 120 thousandthe number of listeners visited Music choice was 120 thousand on the first day and was almost three times as high asalmost thrice than the visitors to Pop parade music website which was only 40 thousand on the same day. From first day onwards, the number of visits started to fallfell noticeably from 120 thousand in Music choice, while Pop Parade showed only a slight decline at firstexcept Pop Parade which had a slight decline.
By comparison, the number of people visited Pop Parade was about 120,000, compared with about 60,000 for Music Choice on the third dayMusic Choice was 120000, compared to Pop Parade which was used by 60000 people on the third day shown. There was a slight fluctuation in the number of visitors to Pop Parade between 20000 and 40000 from day 4 to day 11from on the day 4 till 11, while Pop Parade increased from about 40k to 150kin comparison, has increased from 40k to 140k, the figure for Music choice in 2 days. Pop Parade fell from about 120k to around 30k by day 7The visitors of Pop Parade decreased steadily from 120k till nearly 118k in two days and then recovered at that rate, whereas Music Choice peaked on day 14 at about 120kvisits of Music Choice peaked on the 14th day.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response attempts an overview and uses some relevant trend vocabulary, with a basic paragraph structure that gives the report a recognisable shape. Its central weakness is that the two data series are repeatedly reversed, producing inaccurate figures and comparisons, while grammar often strains clarity; the priority is to identify each line correctly and rebuild the account around the true sequence of changes for each website.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response attempts to describe the two website trends, but it reverses the two series in several places and claims Music Choice was higher for most of the period, when Pop Parade was generally higher. Many figures and comparisons do not match the graph.
First identify which line is which, then report the main pattern: Pop Parade starts high, dips, and finishes highest, while Music Choice stays lower until a late surge.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a basic paragraph structure, but progression is confused because details are not grouped clearly and some comparisons are difficult to follow.
Organise by website or by time period: days 1-7, days 8-11, and days 12-15.
Lexical Resource
Trend vocabulary is attempted, but word choice is often inaccurate or awkward, such as listeners visited and thrice than. Units are sometimes mixed between people and thousands.
Use consistent language: visits, visitors, thousand, rose, fell, fluctuated, peaked, and recovered.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors with participles, articles, comparatives, and sentence boundaries reduce clarity. Meaning remains partly clear but is often strained.
Rewrite long comparison sentences into shorter clauses with clear subjects and verbs.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.