The diagram shows the consumption of renewable energy in the USA from 1949-2008.
Sample Response
The given line graph compares the consumption of main renewable energy sources in the United States of America from 1949from the year 1949 to 2008. As is observed from the graph, initially in 19491950 about 3 quadrillionquadrillions BTU of total renewable energy was used in the USA and this amount reachedthis amount reached to about 8 quadrillionquadrillions BTU in 2008. As is presented in the line graph, wood and hydroelectric power were the two sources of renewable energy in the USA in 1950 and a total of 3 quadrillion BTU of energytotal 3 quadrillion BTU energies were consumed in the USA that yearin this year. The consumption of renewable energy in the USA kept increasing each year with some fluctuations. In the year 2008, the consumption reachedthe consumption reached to around 8 quadrillionquadrillions BTU. Until 1982, wood and hydroelectric powerpowers were the two main sources of renewable energy and these two2 sources supplied renewable energy to people in the USAprovided the renewable energy for the USA people. After 1982, biofuelsBiofuels and wind power were introduced as renewable energy sources and thereafterafter then the consumptionusages of these two sources keptkeep increasing. To summarise, in earlier yearsstates, the wood and hydroelectric power were the main sources of renewable energy in the USA and after 2005, the consumption of biofuels and wind powerthe usages of Bio-fuel and wind increased while the total consumption of renewable energy in the USA increased over time.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The report identifies the substantial overall rise in renewable-energy use, gives accurate approximate totals at the beginning and end, and notes the later emergence of biofuels and wind. Its main limitation is incomplete comparison of the individual sources, especially the contrasting fluctuations in hydroelectric power and the steadier rise in wood. Prioritise source-by-source trends and key turning points rather than repeating total consumption.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overall increase and changing source mix are identified, but the major patterns in wood and hydroelectricity are insufficiently described and annual growth is overstated.
Compare hydroelectricity's pronounced fluctuations with wood's long rise and later stability, then quantify the late growth of biofuels and wind.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a broadly logical timeline, but endpoint figures and the role of wood and hydroelectricity are repeated within one paragraph.
Use a separate overview followed by paragraphs on established sources and newer sources, removing repeated total figures.
Lexical Resource
The response uses relevant energy and trend vocabulary, but frequent countability errors and awkward collocations reduce precision.
Use forms such as 'quadrillion BTU', 'consumption rose to', 'hydroelectric power', 'use of biofuels', and 'energy for Americans'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains generally clear, but recurring errors in plurals, tense, articles, prepositions, and verb agreement limit control.
Maintain past tense and correct structures such as 'reached about eight quadrillion BTU' and 'use of both sources kept increasing'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram shows the consumption of renewable energy in the USA from 1949-2008.
Your response
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