You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter: - ask whether the shop has the goods or can order them - ask what the prices are - ask how long the shop can hold the goods for you
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently purchased a studio apartment in Perth which is in the vicinity of your shop. I would like to purchase some electronic equipment for my apartment and am writing to inquireand writing to inquire about the availability of those products. I require a toaster, a hand blender, a microwave oven, a large mixera big size mixie, a juicer, a dishwasher and a couple of fans along with a dozen LED lights. I would like you to inform me aboutappraise me regarding their availability (off the shelf) in your shop. If the items are availableIn the case of an affirmative response, could you also provideyou may also provide a quote for all the above-mentioned items, at the earliest. AlternativelyOn the contrary, if the items are not in stock, would it be convenient for you to place an order for the entire lot for me? Could you also includeYou must also mention discounts if any, brand name and product specifications for those items. I have plans to visit the shop in a weekdrop down in a week following this weekend, which happens to be on 17th September. I would also humbly request you to inform me of how longthe duration till the time you will be able to retain the electronic equipment for me. I hope to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully, Neeraj Mehra
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter clearly states its purchasing purpose and covers availability, pricing, ordering, and the holding period with useful item-level detail. Its main limitation is unnatural or overly forceful phrasing, alongside weak paragraphing, so the priority is to organise the requests into clear paragraphs and use more idiomatic, politely formal expressions while keeping each request direct and concise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are covered, and the requested goods are specified, although a few demands sound overly forceful.
Soften requests such as the demand for discounts and specifications, and state the intended collection and holding arrangements more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The requests follow a generally understandable sequence, but presenting the entire letter as one block and misusing a contrast linker weaken cohesion.
Separate the opening, product and price enquiries, and collection request into distinct paragraphs with straightforward linking.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a reasonably varied formal vocabulary and names the goods precisely, but several choices and collocations sound unnatural or are misused.
Replace phrases such as appraise me, on the contrary, and drop down with idiomatic alternatives such as let me know, if not, and visit.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the message clearly, though several awkward constructions and a missing auxiliary reduce accuracy.
Proofread complex requests for complete verb phrases, accurate articles and prepositions, and simpler clause structures.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop. In your letter:
- ask whether the shop has the goods or can order them
- ask what the prices are
- ask how long the shop can hold the goods for you
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.