You are organising a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services. In your letter explain: - when you want to visit the Snowy Mountains - how long you will stay - how many students are in your group and what accommodation you will require

Same questionCompare 5 different answers (Band 6.5–7)

Sample Response

1

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to reserve accommodation atin your hostel during our trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales. I am planning a trip for a group of students from Perth and expecting your response so that I can finalise our stay at your hostel. We expect to be in the Snowy Mountains from 1 June to 9 Junebetween June 1st and depart on 9th June. Our group has five men, seven women and a married couple—14 people in totala married couple - 14 in total. The five men can stay inat a dormitory and the women are happy to share rooms, but the married couple would like a deluxe room. We hope to keep our expenses as low as possible. AdditionallyBesides, the rooms shouldmust have hot water and heatingroom heater facilities because of the cold weatherconsidering the cold weather. Could you also provide information aboutPlease also inform me about the recreational facilitiesservices in the area. The group will bring their own boots for bushwalking, but we hope to hirewe are hoping to hire equipment for other sports, such as skiingother sports, like skiing. Some of our group members will hire geological picks and other equipment, if possible. We also need to know about access to caves and other interesting geological features in the area. I am looking forward to receiving information about your hostelinformation about the Student Hostel Services and other facilities, specifically, whether accommodation will be availableif the accommodation would be available during the time of our visit and if so, how I can reserve ithow can I reserve it well in advance. Yours faithfully, Adam Smith

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The letter communicates the booking request clearly and gives complete, useful information about the dates, group size, and accommodation preferences in an appropriately formal register. The main weakness is that numerous additional enquiries make the response somewhat diffuse, while several grammatical and collocational slips reduce precision. Prioritising the required booking details and proofreading complex sentences would make the letter more concise and controlled.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

All requested points are covered in specific detail, and the purpose and formal tone remain clear throughout.

Next step

Keep supplementary questions brief so the accommodation request remains the unmistakable focus.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

Information follows a broadly logical sequence, though the single dense paragraph and extended list of extra requests weaken overall organisation.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs for visit dates, accommodation requirements, and optional facility enquiries.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

The response uses a broad range of relevant vocabulary for accommodation, recreation, equipment, and local features.

Next step

Improve collocational accuracy in phrases such as stay in a dormitory and heating facilities.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

There is a useful range of sentence forms, but errors in coordination, prepositions, articles, and indirect-question order recur.

Next step

Proofread complex sentences for parallel structure, particularly the date range and the final indirect question.

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You are organising a trip to the Snowy Mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services. In your letter explain:

- when you want to visit the Snowy Mountains

- how long you will stay

- how many students are in your group and what accommodation you will require

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.