Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Some people believe that young children should go to school as soon as possible, while others argue that children should be allowed to stay home and play until they are six or seven years old. In my opinion, children should start attending school as soon as possible. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and explain why I think it is important for children to go to school at an early age.
People who advocate for young children to stay home till they are six or seven base their argument on the basis that it would help them create a positive bond with their parents and learn important social skills in a safe environment. Schools are often placesSchools are often a place for competition and formal education often puts pressure on young minds. This can backfire and create apathy towards school and education among childreneducation in young minds.
In contrastOn the contrary, those who support the idea of sending young children to school believe that this can support their cognitive developmenthelp them in their cognitive development. According to a study by the National Institute for Early Education Research, children who attend preschool show greater brain development in areas such as language, literacy, and math. This early exposure to learning can have a lasting impact on a child's academic success. Another reason why children should attend school as soon as possible is that it can help them develop social skills. School provides an environmentA school is a place where children can interact with peers and teachers and learnteachers, and learn how to cooperate, communicate and work in groups. These skills are essential for success in later life, and early exposure to these social settings can help children build a solid foundation for their future.
In my opinion, sending young children to school as early as possible has numerous benefits. It helps them to acquire important skills earlierlearn important skills faster and gain an advantage in their academic and professional livesstay ahead in academic and professional life.
To conclude, since sending young children to school has significant benefits, such assome profound benefits like helping them learn important skills for their future academic and professional performance, parents should considerit is expected that parents would consider sending their children to school at a young age.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay maintains a clear opinion and develops the case for early schooling convincingly through relevant academic and social benefits, with strong logical control. The opposing view is accurate but comparatively brief, and a few expressions are redundant or overly broad. Expand the home-based perspective with one further developed reason, then weigh it explicitly against the benefits supporting the final position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a consistent opinion are presented, with strong support for early schooling but less development of the opposing perspective.
Develop the stay-at-home view more fully and explicitly explain why its benefits are outweighed by the advantages of early schooling.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through distinct stages, and paragraphing and cohesive links support effortless reading.
Integrate the separate opinion paragraph more closely with the preceding argument to avoid restating an already established position.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though occasional redundancy and broad phrasing limit complete naturalness.
Remove expressions such as base their argument on the basis and replace broad claims like stay ahead in professional life with more precise outcomes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used accurately, and the response is largely error-free apart from minor punctuation issues.
Polish coordination punctuation, avoiding unnecessary commas before shared verb phrases such as and learn how to cooperate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.