An increasing number of people work from home these days and stay in touch with their office using computer technology. What are the effects on employees of working from home?
Sample Response
Thanks to technological advances,Thanks for technological advancements - Information Technology and modern electronic gadgets make it possible to performfacilitate to perform several jobs inat home settings. These advancements immensely help employeeshelp to the employees in various ways. The life changing concept 'working from home''work at home' gives various financial and personal benefitseconomic and personal allowances to workers and helps them makeassist them to makes their lives more enjoyabletheir life a festival. Firstly, working from home greatly reduceswork from home tremendously reduces employees' transportation coststhe transportation cost of employees to and from the office settings. To be more precise, travelling expenses, which aretravelling expenses, that is a big burden for many employees, can be significantly reduced by online work. Besides, this money can be allocated to other purposesmobilised to some other purposes which make life easiermake the life a cake walk. A recent survey by a statistics departmentRecent statistical department's survey reveals that people who work from homethe people work from home settings can save an additional 35% of their salarycan be saved extra 35% from their salary by avoiding transportation expenses. Secondly, employed parents get ample timetimes to look after their children at home. In other wordsIn another word, the upbringing of the children, which is always considered as a tough nut to crack, is made easier by this new work cultureis easing by this new work culture. In addition, employees get plenty of times to spend with their children which is necessary for children's overall development. Recent WHO report indicates that the parents work from home are more successful to fulfil their children's needs than parents work at office settings.
To sum-up, work from home concept and trend positively affect all class of workers in many ways. They get not only financial benefits but also get a good amount of time with their family. This new work culture isThese new work-cultures is really a boon for many people especially for employed parents in several ways.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its focused explanation of two relevant employee benefits: lower commuting costs and more time for working parents to care for children. Its main limitation is that the evidence is implausibly attributed to unnamed official surveys, while exaggerated idioms and frequent language errors weaken credibility. Prioritise realistic explanation of how saved travel time and money affect employees, using a clear paragraph for each effect and precise formal wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Two relevant effects on employees are developed with clear explanations, but the supporting survey claims are unconvincing and the response generalises benefits to all workers.
Support the savings and childcare effects with realistic cause-and-effect reasoning and acknowledge that these benefits depend on employees' circumstances.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through financial and family benefits to a conclusion, though the two main ideas are compressed into one long paragraph and linking is repetitive.
Give commuting savings and family time separate body paragraphs, each moving from a clear topic sentence to explanation and a credible example.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a varied range and several idioms, but frequent inaccurate collocations and exaggerated expressions reduce precision and formality.
Use direct phrases such as 'technological advances enable remote work', 'reduce commuting costs', 'redirect savings' and 'spend more time with children'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of structures is attempted, but agreement, infinitive, article, countability and relative-clause errors recur throughout.
Check subject–verb agreement and noun number in forms such as 'the concept gives', 'workers save', 'ample time' and 'these work practices are'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
An increasing number of people work from home these days and stay in touch with their office using computer technology. What are the effects on employees of working from home?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.