Though women mostly take care of their children in most of the societies, men can also be as good as women in upbringing children. The parenting responsibilities should be equally divided and both father and mother should take care of their children. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Sample Response
Parenting is an art which is mastered by a woman more than a man. A woman is more patient and understanding than a man and so I agree with the opinion that women make bettergood parents than men but I completely disagree with the fact that, the responsibility falls more heavily on womenlies more with the woman in taking care of a child.
In my viewIn my point of view men and womenwoman share equal rights and responsibilities when it comes to parenting. WomenWoman are better parents than men as they understand their children better than anybody else can because a child spends a major portion of his childhood with his mother and so the mother has an understanding ofa perception on his needshis needs and requirements.
A father though holds equal rights and responsibilities to his child as much as a mother, a father doesn't get enough time to spend with his child. Therefore, a fatherHence a father wouldn't be able to control his child and make him understand things as well asas much as what a mother could do. It's a scientifically proven fact that a woman upon becoming a mother undergoes significanthuge mental and physical changes. A woman becomes more tolerant patient understanding loving. This perfectlyAnd this perfectly prepares her for parentingshapes herself up for parenting and a child who has grown up with his mother respectsrespect other women in comparison to children who have notchildren who hasn't.
Though it's an established pointa proven point that women make better parents than men the roles and responsibilities forof a child are or should be equally shared by both men and womenwoman. Men often mistakenly consider their responsibilities over their child.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its identifiable position that childcare duties should be shared, even while it argues that mothers may have particular strengths. The main limitation is that this view is developed through broad, unsupported generalizations and ends abruptly without a complete conclusion. The highest-priority improvement is to organize two balanced, evidence-based reasons around equal parental responsibility and explain each one fully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A relevant and generally clear position is presented, but its support relies heavily on unqualified claims and the final idea is incomplete.
Develop the case for equal responsibility with specific reasoning about how both parents contribute, then finish with a complete conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is broadly logical and the argument remains followable, although repetition and some overloaded sentences weaken progression.
Give each body paragraph one distinct purpose and use clearer sentence boundaries to connect supporting points.
Lexical Resource
The response shows an adequate range for discussing parenting, but recurring word-form and collocation problems reduce precision.
Correct recurring choices such as 'men and woman,' 'good parents than,' and 'a perception on' while using less repetitive parenting vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex structures communicate the main meaning, but frequent agreement, comparison, article, and punctuation errors limit control.
Prioritize subject-verb agreement, comparative forms, and punctuation in long sentences, especially around clauses beginning with 'though' and 'because.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Though women mostly take care of their children in most of the societies, men can also be as good as women in upbringing children. The parenting responsibilities should be equally divided and both father and mother should take care of their children. Write an essay expressing your point of view.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.