It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together.
Sample Response
In the past, every person of a family used to live together whereas now, sometimes children, father, and mother stay different places in order to study, or earn money. Although there are some reasons that cause family members to live apartact as a catalyst to separate the people from a family, I believe this tendency can be changed by taking appropriate actionthrough taking proper actions.
Certainly, there are some causes that cause people to live apart from their familiesinfluence the people to detach from their household nowadays. Firstly, as earning money is one of the important for livelihoods that increases from last few years, men member of a house usually go to the outside of his own area for a job to maintain a happy lifestyle. For exampleAs an example, many developing countries like India, China and Nepal don't have enough employment in rural areasemployment in the rural area; so, villagersthe village people have no choice but to move to citiesendeavour the city area. Secondly, when most children finish their primary and high school education, they are now drawn to well-known universitiesmotivated by the popular university education; thus, they move to other countries or mega cities to studyfor studying. It is apparent that these changes happen due to the above reasons. People no longer prefer to live in a joint family and the number of nuclear families is increasing rapidly. The scarcity of resources, the increasing cost of livingcost of life leading and declinedecrease in family values are some of the main reasons for that.
On the other hand, we should take some preventive measuressome preventive measures we should take to eliminate this problem. Obviously, governments need to take a major share of responsibility if they want to change this situation. the Government can make industries, factories in the rural area, in fact, it should be ensured that every people of the state can easily obtain a suitable job in his local area. Moreover, a large number of facilities should be provided in local schools, colleges, and universitiesfacilities should be included in local school, college, and university so that the students will be impressed with their own education system. Furthermore, communication services such as mobile phones and the internetcommunication sectors such as mobile, the internet as well as the developed transportation system can play an important role. In case any member of a family needs to live apart from their familynecessitates to apart from their house they can still communicate with other members of the family. People should understand the value of family bonding and should have a positive mentality to stay together no matter what.
In conclusion, it is very importantconsequential that family memberspeople of the clan should live together because they need each other if they face any problem. This responsibility lies not only with the governmentThis responsibility is not only to the government but also to every individual. Therefore, every person should try to keep in touch with their family.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response succeeds in covering both requested parts with a clear causes-and-solutions structure and several relevant ideas. Its main limitation is frequent inaccurate grammar and word choice, which makes some explanations awkward or difficult to follow despite the generally clear message. The highest-priority improvement is to express each main idea in shorter, accurately formed sentences using natural collocations before adding further detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and remedies are addressed with a clear viewpoint and relevant support concerning employment, education, communication, and family values.
Develop the less-explained points, especially declining family values and personal responsibility, with clearer causal reasoning and specific illustration.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical causes-and-solutions progression, although lengthy paragraphs, mechanical linking, and some overloaded sentences weaken cohesion.
Divide each body paragraph into more focused idea units and use referencing rather than repeated sequencing expressions to connect them.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss the topic, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices sometimes strain meaning.
Replace unnatural combinations such as endeavour the city, make industries, and people of the clan with precise, conventional expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but persistent errors with articles, agreement, sentence construction, capitalization, and punctuation reduce control.
Prioritize accurate clause boundaries and subject-verb agreement, then proofread each sentence for missing articles and prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.