Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Although proficientProficient creators like musicians and painters are the assets of our society, whether they should be given sufficient financialfiscal support by their own authorities has triggered spirited debates. Some assert that government is obliged to provide funding for their creative workgenerate money for their skilfulness, whereas others contend that alternative ways are to be taken into account. In my perspective, the latter should be given more weightthe latter should be considered highly, for they provide clear-cut advantages.
The idea is that government must lend a helping hand to its artists does have a handful of benefitsdoes have a handful benefits. One reason why people propose this is that artists could easily secure a reasonable incomecollect reasonable income to produce strong creative workbring forth remarkable creations. The perceived general idea is that this readily available fund would encourage the talents to bring out the best in them, which, in turn, enhances remarkable achievements not only to the artists but also to the government. Nevertheless, it is highly likely that, if they get necessary resources as easily as ABC, they would develop laziness and this drawback retardsretard the overall cultural developmentcultural promotion and improvement of their nation.
However, the arguments for alternative fundingcounter arguments of supporting talents financially seem more likely to be more convincingeffective rationally than the former. This is partly because people who work hard to earn money for their creative works will definitely value their job and thereby they strive tirelessly to achieve their dreams. They will, for example, estimate the needed costs and use the money wiselyuse it adequately. It is also relevant that artists can do further alterations in their creations as they are not bound by any rules and regulations, and they can clearly do whatever they want for better accomplishments. Moreover, governments should instead prioritiseeach and every authority is mandated to rather consider other big issues, which areis chiefly important to protect its public.
In conclusionTo put it in a nutshell, while getting promoted economically by the government is supportive, I believe, other options such as private funds are to be chosen, in addition to the government budget, it would be argued, could be allocated for other necessary purposes.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents both funding perspectives in a clear, logical structure and maintains a consistent preference for alternative support. Its main weakness is that the case for government funding is not fully developed, while awkward wording and an overloaded conclusion sometimes blur the argument. Strengthen the public-benefit side with a specific example, then express the final position in shorter, more precise sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed and the writer gives a clear preference for alternative funding. Development is relevant, but the government-funding side is partly weakened by an unsupported claim that easy funding causes laziness.
Balance the discussion by giving one stronger public-benefit argument for government support and one clearer example of alternative funding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical discuss-both-views structure and uses contrast markers effectively. Some sentence-to-sentence links are heavy or awkward, and the conclusion becomes grammatically tangled.
Keep the three-paragraph body structure but use simpler topic sentences and make the conclusion state the final opinion in one clean sentence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary range is fairly wide, with phrases such as "triggered spirited debates" and "clear-cut advantages". However, several ambitious choices are unnatural or imprecise, including "skilfulness", "generate money" and "effective rationally".
Prioritise precise collocations over showy wording: "public funding", "private sponsorship", "creative work", "cultural value" and "artistic independence".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts complex clauses, but article errors, subject-verb agreement problems and awkward clause patterns appear regularly. Meaning is usually clear, though some sentences are overloaded.
Break long sentences into shorter ones and check that each clause has a clear subject and finite verb.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.