Men do most of the high-level jobs. Should the government encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? What is your opinion on that?
Sample Response
The rapid industrialization during the 21st century has resultedthroughout the 21st century resulted in the start up of multinational companies across the globe. The statistics reported by the Financial Times in September 2015 claimclaims that 90 percent of the top level positions are occupied by men on averageon an average across all companies. AlthoughAlthough, I believe that women must be prepared to take over higher positions, I reject the proposal that a proportion of top-level jobs should be reservedI refute that some proportion of top level jobs to be reserved for women. Firstly, a company can expect a catastrophic failure iffailure in if any top level decision goes astray, especially if the decision involves billions of dollarsinvolves multi-billion dollars. For instance, a large financial firma big finance firm named ABC based in Germany went bankrupt in the second quarter of 2014 due to a poorwrong decision by its president, who was promoted to the top position under a quota policybased on reservation. Moreover, the board of directors need to assess candidates for the top postsscrutinise the top posts with extreme care based on the candidates' meritsbased on his or her merits, irrespective of gender. Therefore, it is obvious that the top positions should not be subject to a quota policyfall under the reservation policy. Secondly, overlooking a qualified person when filling a new positionignoring an efficient person to fill in a new position leads to discrimination and causes a lack of motivationengenders the lack of motivation among the employees. For example, if a person is simply promoted to the top post, leaving behind the capable colleagues, there are high chances that the colleagues, who think the decision is not fair, will not work efficiently to their calibre. As a result, it is the organisation that loses productivitythe organisation which loses the productivity. Thus, the top positions should never be reserved based on gender or any category In conclusion, by analysing how reservation can lead to poor decision making as well as reducedecrease productivity, reservation should not be in place for top posts. Governments should ensure that they give enough focus to empower women and head positions should be filled based on merit regardless of genderfilled in based on merit irrespective of anything.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in its clear opposition to reserved senior positions and its logical focus on merit, decision quality, and employee motivation. Its main limitation is that it assumes quotas necessarily promote less-qualified candidates, without considering why reservations might address structural barriers, and the single-paragraph format weakens organisation. The highest-priority improvement is to engage with the strongest argument for representation, then explain how merit-based alternatives could expand women’s access without fixed quotas.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear position and develops two relevant reasons, but its argument rests on an insufficiently examined assumption about the qualifications of quota beneficiaries.
Acknowledge the case for correcting structural inequality and compare quotas with alternatives such as transparent promotion criteria, mentoring, and leadership development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning progresses from decision-making risk to employee motivation and a conclusion, but the lack of paragraph breaks and some abrupt connections weaken readability.
Separate the introduction, two main arguments, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs and link each example directly to its claim.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a fairly broad range of workplace and policy vocabulary, though several collocations and expressions are inaccurate or unnatural.
Refine phrases such as “refute that jobs be reserved,” “multi-billion dollars,” and “work efficiently to their calibre” into standard academic English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is used, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, punctuation, prepositions, and clause construction reduce accuracy.
Check subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries, and remove unnecessary commas after subordinating words such as “although.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Men do most of the high-level jobs. Should the government encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? What is your opinion on that?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.