Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Same questionCompare 3 different answers (Band 6–6.5)

Sample Response

1

Some people believe that developed countries should offer immigration and employment opportunitiesopen migration and work opportunities for skilled and educated people from lower-income countriespeople from third world countries, while others disagree with this opinion. The following essay will discuss the statement in detaildetails before stating my own opinion and Deletedrawing a rational conclusion. On the one hand, some experts think that developed countries should accept highly skilled people from underdeveloped countries. It is a fact that many developed countries such as Canada, Australia and New Zealand have a shortagelacking of skilled workers and letting people come from underdeveloped countries to work in such countries would be beneficial for both parties. These developed countries have abundantlarge natural resources but smaller populationsfewer population and hence they should welcome additional workers from other countriesextra resources from other countries, especially poor countries thatwho have large populationsa large population. Obviously, they need a lot of talented and educated people to boost their economic development, and one of the most effective ways is to create an immigration pathwayopen a migration path for skilled workers from third world countries. On the other hand, it is true that many developed countries have opened their doors to skilled immigrants these days. This fact has caused a serious problema cause a serious problem for many poor countries. Many of their knowledgeable and skilled people have migrated to advanced countries since they would get higher salaries, better benefits and safer political conditionscondition. As a result, these countries face difficulties in improving their economic conditions as they lack educated and skilled people. From a different perspective, open immigration and employment opportunitiesthe open immigration and work opportunity often increases terrorismincreases the terrorism in first world countries which isare evident from the recent world events. In conclusion, to a certain point, I would agree with the migration policy of some rich countries thatwhich accept skilled people from developing countries. However, I also believe that the policy should bealso believe that the policy should also be subject to a quotalimited to a certain quota, so that not alltherefore not all of the best people from the poor countries leave their nations. It is obvious that the poor countries also need their best people to develop their countries.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response’s strongest feature is a qualified, relevant position: skilled migration can benefit richer economies, but quotas may reduce damaging brain drain in poorer countries. Its main limitation is uneven support and precision, particularly the unsupported terrorism claim and several questionable generalisations, alongside recurring language errors. Prioritise developing the economic trade-off with specific causal reasoning and removing claims that are not credibly explained or evidenced.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.5
Scoring rule

The essay addresses the proposition, considers benefits and drawbacks, and reaches a clear qualified agreement, but some reasoning is generalised and the terrorism point is asserted without support.

Next step

Focus the opposing case on well-explained brain drain and show how a quota could balance destination-country shortages with source-country needs.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The on-the-one-hand structure and conclusion create a recognisable progression, but the single-paragraph format and abrupt shift to terrorism weaken the organisation of ideas.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs for destination-country benefits, source-country costs and the proposed quota, with a clear transition between them.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

There is adequate topic vocabulary, but recurring collocational errors such as “open migration,” “a lacking of,” “fewer population” and “safer political condition” limit precision.

Next step

Use natural forms such as “expand skilled migration,” “a shortage of workers,” “smaller populations” and “greater political stability.”

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

The response uses varied structures, but frequent article, agreement, countability and clause-linking errors reduce control and occasionally strain readability.

Next step

Check countable nouns and agreement in phrases involving populations, opportunities and conditions, and split overloaded causal sentences.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your response

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