Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. What is your opinion about this? Discuss with appropriate examples.
Sample Response
It is true that the numbernumbers of large malls have increased rapidly in the past few years, and many people believe that they are replacing the traditional shops. I personally feel that there should be clear regulations governingsome clear regulations about the design of malls in each city; therefore, the existencecity; therefore the existence of these shopping malls will not replace the small shops. It is a fact that many large shopping malls are built in big cities these days, such as Singaporesuch as in Singapore, Jakarta or Tokyo. These giant malls offer a wide variety of shopsvarious kinds of shops in one place; therefore, peopleplace; therefore people doshould not have to go to different places when they are shopping for what they needlooking for their needs. In additionThen, these shopping malls are also equipped with air conditioningconditioner, so visitors will feel comfortable when they walk around the malls. FinallyAnd lastly, these shopping malls are also managed and monitoredalso being managed and monitored by security guards; therefore,security guards, therefore many people feel safe walking around in these malls. However, despite all the benefits of these large shopping centres, the existence of these shopping malls has some negative effects on small shops. Many property developers are building their malls near a traditional market, which affectsaffected the sales of many small and traditional shops. As more people choose to go to large shopping malls, the number of people who shop at small shops becomes smaller each daythe numbers of people who purchase at small shops become lesser and lesser each day. As a consequence, many of these shopshops owners have to close their businessesbusiness or have to reduce the number of employees. In conclusion, the number of mega malls is increasing these days, and some people believe that they will replace traditional markets. I personally believe that the existence of shopping malls will boost the economic growth of the city, but small shops also create many jobjobs opportunities Deleteas well. So it is the government's responsibilitythe government task to make some strict regulations about the city’s layout; therefore,the city’s layout, therefore large shopping malls and small shops can coexistthe existence of large shopping malls and small shops will be appropriate.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its relevant account of why malls attract customers and how this can reduce small shops’ sales, employment, and survival. Its main limitation is an underdefined opinion: the essay proposes layout regulations but never clearly states whether malls replacing small shops is desirable, nor how those regulations would prevent it. The highest priority is to establish a firm judgement and support the proposed policy with a concrete mechanism or example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant benefits and harms are discussed, but the writer’s evaluation and the connection between city-planning rules and shop survival remain insufficiently developed.
State whether the replacement trend is positive or negative overall and explain how zoning, location limits, or small-business protections would address it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas move recognisably from mall benefits to effects on small shops and a conclusion, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, benefits, harms, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs and use one controlling idea in each.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate vocabulary for shopping, property, employment, and regulation, but frequent repetition and awkward collocations reduce flexibility.
Use natural expressions such as ‘number of malls’, ‘meet their needs’, ‘air conditioning’, ‘shop at small retailers’, and ‘job opportunities’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay attempts varied structures, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, possessives, verb forms, and sentence boundaries limit accuracy.
Proofread subjects and verb phrases, particularly ‘malls are managed’, ‘development affects sales’, ‘shop owners’, and ‘it is the government’s task’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. What is your opinion about this? Discuss with appropriate examples.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.