There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phones?
Sample Response
It is believed that the existence of cellular phone technology has created social, medical and technical problems for individuals and societies. I personally disagree with the thought, if people think that there are more disadvantages than the advantages of cell phones and the following essay will discuss this issue in details.
To begin with, it is true that the development of mobile phone technology has created some problems for humankindproblems for human kinds. Firstly, many people believe that the wireless phone technology has made peoplehas made people become more individualistic. In the most common case, many families are having communication problems these days, due to each member of the family are busy with their devices. Secondly, it has been reported that wireless technology has somethe wireless technology has some negative effects on our health. Many scientists believe that the technology has become one of the contributors to brain damage in humanscontributors to human's brain damage and may trigger brain cancerand trigger brain cancer as well. Thirdly, it has been reported that some people have been injured due tothe technical problems of the phone itself. There have been cases where the battery of the phone had exploded when it was used to make phone calls, and it caused serious injuries to the user. Despite all the social, medical and technical problems of mobile phones, I do believe that the existence of the device brings a lot of benefits tofor human beings. Mobile phones can be used to contact a specific personconnect to a specific person, though the person might be travelling to other places. FurthermoreAnd then, with the various functionsfunction of mobile phone technology nowadays, it can be used to send and receivereceived important emails. In additionBesides that, with chat applicationsthe chatting application that can be installed on phonescould be installed on the phones, they have made long-distance communication cheaperit has made distance communication become cheaper. FinallyAnd last but not the least, the phone can also be used as a navigation system to find a new area or new address. In conclusion, it is true that handheld phone technology has caused some problems for mankind, but I disagree with the opinion that the problems caused by these phones outweighthe problem of these phones outweighs the benefits. I do believe that mobile phones have assisted human beingsmobile phone has assisted the human being in various ways and it is the irresponsible acts of humans themselves that have caused the problemsthe irresponsible act of humans themselves that has caused the problem.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both questions directly, maintains a clear position, and supports it with a relevant range of social, medical, technical, and practical points. Its main limitation is that these points are mostly listed rather than fully analysed, while the single overloaded body paragraph weakens presentation. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the problems and benefits into distinct paragraphs and develop the comparison between them more explicitly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and all parts of the task are addressed with relevant supporting points, though development is sometimes general.
Explain more precisely why the stated benefits outweigh the problems instead of relying mainly on separate lists.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has clear overall progression, but mechanical sequencing and one very long body paragraph weaken the organisation.
Separate the problems, benefits, and final judgement into logically focused paragraphs with smoother transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of topic vocabulary, although several word forms and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural.
Improve precision in phrases such as references to humanity, communication, and technological effects, and check word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the ideas clearly, but agreement, articles, clauses, and verb forms contain recurring errors.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and accurate verb patterns, especially in longer sentences with subordinate clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of mobile phones?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.