People’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful nowadays and there are many reasons behind this. Many people relate this to technological advancement while others say that high living costs and competitions are the main reasons for this stressful life we have. In your opinion what are the reasons behind this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
The world today is becominginevitably becoming more and more competitive. To cope with this competitioncompetitive world, people have to keep upkeep pace with it. Therefore, some people think that life has becomelives have become more stressful than before. In this essay, the causes behind this and the possible ways to tackle the problem will be discussed in detail.
In today's high-tech world, people have so much to dothere is so much to do for people. People are busy and have no time for anything else. This has, however, impacted the lives of many individuals from children to adults and from rich to poorfrom children to adults, rich to poor. Firstly, children are anxious about facing the world in the futurein future. Therefore, to prepare effectivelyto do this effectively they are competing for top positionsfighting for the top position in universities and colleges with their counterparts. This, in turn, leads to stress about achieving their goals in lifethe stress of achieving the goal in life. Lack of respect and weak bondslight bonding in the family often contributescontribute to stressful lives for adolescentsa stressful life for adolescence. Sometimes a family member's drug abusethe drug abuse issue by a family member ruins the peacepeacefulness of the whole family.
On the other hand, adults, who have already acquired knowledge and currently in a job, face financial pressurethe tension of salary to satisfy their needs and fulfil their desires. Job satisfaction and the low income they earn is another factor causing stress. Furthermore, life also becomes stressful for those who are unemployed. Interestingly, people who are rich, well to do and have everything in life, also face problems likely insecurity. This is due to the fact that the crime rate is increasing day by day.
Hence, there can be an endless number of reasons behind this. Nevertheless, these problems could be tackled to some extent by enforcing a few laws and regulations. For example, the government should take strict action against theft and criminals. They should be given acceptable punishment for the crime they commit. Secondly, patrolling should be increased in the areas where the crime rate is high. Moving onto the problems of competition and salaries, jobs should not be provided only on the basis of marks and salaries should be increased to some extent with the extra provision of rewards and incentives. Lastly, the unemployment problem should be dealt with and new job opportunities should be opened up for those unemployed.
To sum up, challenges and problems are part of life. Everyone has to face it someday. According to my opinion, it should be handled bravely and by making a few practical changes so as to overcome the stress caused by it.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both causes and solutions and offers a substantial range of relevant points, with a generally clear paragraph structure. However, several ideas are listed rather than fully explained, and some proposed measures are only loosely connected to the principal causes, while recurring grammatical and collocational problems reduce precision. The highest priority is to select fewer cause-solution pairs and develop their links explicitly and accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with relevant causes and solutions, but development is uneven and some measures are weakly matched to the causes.
Build two or three explicit cause-solution pairs and explain how each measure would reduce the identified source of stress.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overall sequence and appropriate paragraphing, although progression sometimes becomes list-like and connections are not always precise.
Organise each body paragraph around one controlling idea and use linking phrases to show causal relationships rather than merely add points.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but recurrent awkward collocations and inaccurate word choices reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace expressions such as light bonding and problems likely insecurity with established collocations that express the intended meaning exactly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are mixed, but recurring agreement, clause-completion, article, and sentence-structure errors remain noticeable.
Check every complex sentence for a complete main clause and ensure subjects and verbs agree before adding subordinate detail.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
People’s lives are becoming increasingly stressful nowadays and there are many reasons behind this. Many people relate this to technological advancement while others say that high living costs and competitions are the main reasons for this stressful life we have. In your opinion what are the reasons behind this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.