Some people say that music plays an important role in society while others believe that it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Music has been a significant part of human culture for centuries, and its role in society continues to be a topic of debate. While some people argue that music is primarilyonly a source of personal enjoyment, I believe that its societal role extends far beyond mere entertainment.
Proponents of the idea that music is just a form of entertainment argue that its primary function is to provide relaxation and enjoyment. They contend that people listen to music to escape the pressures of daily life, unwind, or celebrate special occasions. From this viewpoint, music is a personal choice, tailored to individual preferences and emotions, without any significantdeep societal impact. For these individuals, music is an enjoyable activity, much like watching movies or playing sports, which adds to the quality of life but remains relatively superficial in its effects on society.
Nevertheless, music plays a much broader roleserves a much broader purpose in society. Historically, music has beenMusic has historically been a powerful tool for social and political change, often providing a voice to marginalized communities and fostering solidarity during times of struggle. For example, protest songs and political anthems have been integral toin movements for civil rights and freedom, uniting people around a common cause. Additionally, music often reflects cultural values and traditions, helping to preserve and promote national identities. By reflecting and preserving cultural valuesIn this way, it can shape social norms and create a sense of belonging withinamong diverse groups, making it an essential component of cultural heritage.
In conclusion, although some might consider musicconsider music as a mere recreational tool, I believe that it plays a significant rolepart in bringing people together, driving social change, and preserving cultural heritage.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its focused, well-developed comparison of personal enjoyment with music’s wider cultural and political influence, supported by relevant examples and precise language. Its main limitation is that the entertainment view is treated somewhat more generally than the societal view. The highest-priority improvement is to add a more specific illustration or deeper explanation for that first perspective while preserving the concise structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both views directly, maintains a clear opinion, and develops the societal role of music especially well.
Develop the entertainment perspective with a similarly specific example or a little more analytical depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and unobtrusively.
Strengthen the balance between the two body paragraphs by giving the first view comparable argumentative weight.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately academic, with effective phrases for cultural and political ideas.
Refine occasional collocations, such as using “integral to movements” rather than “integral in movements.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Maintain this control while varying sentence openings slightly to make the prose even more stylistically flexible.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that music plays an important role in society while others believe that it is simply a form of entertainment for individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.