Restoration of old building in main cities involves enormous government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to spend this money to build new houses and roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, the pressing need to provide shelter for the community is a majormainstream issue being addressed by the government. However, the capital invested ininto buildingconstruction renovation is huge compared with the cost of new housing constructionoriginal housing development. I couldn’t have agreed more that this amount should insteadrather be used for new housing and road constructionmodern expansion alongside transportation routes. Analyzing the need for urbanization and the effect of construction retrofitting will justify it.
Firstly, more than half of the society’s population lacks a home in developing countries thereby encouraging human habitation in slums, where they have always been exposed to environmental disasters such as floods, outbreaks of diseases, and insecurities. For instance, citiesurban cities across the world have been experiencing congestion due to overcrowding. Hence, building homeserecting lodges in undeveloped areasareas that are yet to be developed will be beneficial to societymore advantageous to society.
Secondly, of course retrofittingthe approach of retrofitting as an alternative to newbuilding construction may be cheaper, particularly in the case of smaller projects. Yet, the risk attached to the processes involved could incur more costs. For example, the demolition of structural elements of the existing buildings, if not handled by experts, couldexperts could lead to serious damagevehement loss and even death, and cause the project to exceed its budgetcontrary to the budget. Thus renovating existing housingrestructuring of housing should best be considered as the last resortresult of expanding the housing supplyexpanding housing.
In a nutshell, the government’s record of a large amount for developing readymade houses as against contemporary homes and access roads, calls for the need to consider the option of investment with respect to project size and expertise.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a clear preference for funding new housing and uses a conventional paragraph structure to present two supporting reasons. Its main weakness is that the reasoning is often general, weakly substantiated, or partly misaligned with the precise comparison between preserving old buildings and building houses and roads, while awkward word choices sometimes blur meaning. Prioritise a consistent conclusion and develop each argument with realistic, directly relevant explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear initial position is supported by relevant ideas, but roads receive little attention, development is often general, and the conclusion weakens the stance.
Make each body paragraph directly compare restoration with the proposed spending alternative, then restate the same position unequivocally in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear paragraphing and broadly logical progression, although some linking is mechanical and several internal connections are imprecise.
Use sharper topic sentences and clearer referencing so each example visibly advances the paragraph's central claim.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonable range of construction-related vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations such as 'vehement loss' and 'last result' reduce precision.
Prefer familiar, natural combinations such as 'severe losses' and 'last resort', and check that each noun matches the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but recurring clause, agreement, and punctuation problems limit control despite generally clear meaning.
Proofread complex sentences for subject-verb agreement, comma placement, and complete clause boundaries before adding further complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Restoration of old building in main cities involves enormous government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to spend this money to build new houses and roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.