Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, sports are becoming increasingly populargaining huge popularity, and many view sports as an important tool for an ideal society. However, some people argue that sport is merely a leisure activity and fails to contribute to society in a positive way. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and argueopine that sports and games indeed play essential roles in society.
The group of people who consider sportsconsider sports as just a leisure activityjust leisure activity base their opinion on the claim thatbase their opinion that sports fail to address any pressing social issue. They also arguekeep on arguing that young people take up sport to pursue a careertake up sports to make a career, while others do so to spendand others to spend their free time with friends, family and neighbours. No doubt, they enjoyNo doubt they enjoy the activity but do not learn to positively contribute to society in the way they would have learned if they participated in volunteer activitiestook volunteer activities like helping homeless people and cleaning the neighbourhood. This emphasises the shortcomings of sports as a tool to help society.
By contrastOn the contrary, the proponents of the view that sports have an important role in society claim that sports encourage people to remain active and healthy. A healthier populationA healthy generation reduces the financial burden on the government by lowering healthcare costs. Thus, medical resourcesThus the medical resources and funding could be better utilised to treat vulnerable older peoplethe more vulnerable elderly people and medical researchresearces. ThisThis, in a way, has a substantialhuge positive impact on society. Moreover, sports help young people cultivate good habits. With the increasing accessibility of technology, many young people tend to engage in sedentary activities such as playing computer games and chatting on social media. By participating in different sports, instead of spending time at home playing video games, children can improve their social interactions with peers and learn essential skills like teamwork and time management.
In conclusion, all things considered, although some people believe that sport is simply a leisure activity, I believe that sport plays an important role in society because it brings significant benefits to society.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay covers both views and gives a clear opinion, with its strongest development linking sport to health, public spending and children's social skills. The main limitation is that the leisure-only view is presented somewhat narrowly and several phrases or repeated words reduce precision. Explain more fairly why leisure can still be valuable without constituting a major social role, then refine collocations and proofread spelling.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both positions are discussed and the writer's view is clear, with the social benefits of sport developed more convincingly than the opposing view.
Develop the leisure perspective beyond its failure to solve social problems by considering recreation, enjoyment and personal well-being.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraph functions and a logical movement from the opposing claim to the writer's stronger case and conclusion.
Make the conclusion more informative by summarising the two principal social benefits instead of repeating that sport benefits society.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently flexible topic-specific range is used, though repetition and a few inaccurate collocations or spelling errors remain.
Use natural phrases such as "take part in volunteer activities" and "fund medical research," and correct "research."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are generally well controlled, with occasional article, clause and comparison errors that do not obstruct meaning.
Revise forms such as "sport as merely a leisure activity," "base their opinion on" and "would learn through volunteering."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.