The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In my opinion, one of the major causes of road accidents is the violation of traffic rules. The best way to ensure that drivers remain law-abidingkeep the drivers to remain law obedient is to punish themgive them punishment for dangerousoffensive driving and for breaking the traffic rules. In my viewAccording to me, the punishment must be proportionatevery proportional to the mistake made. Life is very precious and many people die annually in traffic accidents and many more aremuch more get severely injured. To avoid traffic accidents, the law must be very strict and effectively enforcedstrict and vibrant. There are many forms of unlawful drivingscenarios of unlawfully driving. Young drivers seek pleasure with driving at very high speedsvery high-speed driving. Some bike riders deriveget enjoyment while driving on one wheel. Some drivers think that wearing athe seat belt places a burden on their bodiesis putting a burden on their body. SomeFew people even drive while they are drunk and they lose proper control oflose the good control on wheel and pedals. The only way to stop this lawlessness is to award the punishment. Punishment may be in the form of money, imprisonment, confiscation of licence, making the insurance high. There are a wide variety of offenderswide varieties of offenders; some do it for the sake of thrills and others due to human error and negligence. I believe that when there is an element of human error, a warning is enough. If we impose a heavy fine for minor human errors then people will drive with anxiety and ultimately will lose confidence behind the wheelconfidence on wheels. My personal opinion is to educate the people before a licence is issuedbefore issuance of the licence. During the provisional licensing periodIn temporary licensure period, drivers will learn about rules and regulation of roads, the negative effect of alcohol in driving, maintenance of the vehicle, own health, road safety etc. When someone will know about every bit of law and keeping in mind the consequences of violation then there will be least chances of offending the law and jeopardising of life. Life is very precious and state should frame every rule possible for the provision of ultimate security to road users. Firstly drivers should be educated then given a warning for minor human errors and lastly strict punishment for violation of rules.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers a relevant, nuanced approach by distinguishing deliberate offences from human error and proposing education, warnings, and proportionate penalties. Its argument remains harder to follow because the exact extent of agreement emerges gradually and the entire essay is presented as one paragraph, while frequent collocational and grammatical errors reduce precision. State the position immediately and organise the reasoning into distinct, controlled paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops relevant ideas about proportional punishment, warnings, and education, but its degree of agreement with the claim is not consistently explicit.
State clearly at the outset that strict punishment is necessary for serious offences but is not the only safety measure, then sustain that position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning has a discernible sequence, but the single-paragraph format, repeated points, and list-like progression weaken organisation and cohesion.
Separate the essay into an introduction, distinct body paragraphs for punishment and education, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss offences, penalties, licensing, and safety, but frequent inaccurate collocations make the wording unnatural.
Replace expressions such as award the punishment and lose confidence on wheels with precise, conventional road-safety language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex forms, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, count nouns, and clause construction limit accuracy.
Edit each sentence for article use and subject-verb agreement, and avoid overloaded structures when expressing cause and consequence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.