'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Sample Response
Today, thanks to new technology in the cyber-space, some office employees are allowed to work from home. This system has led many companies to gain more benefits, and I think this work arrangement will becomethis method will become more popular in the future due to the introduction of more developed web systems and worsening transport problemsfacing more transport problems. To begin with, in some companies, office staffstaffs are permitted to work from home via telecommuting, which has been beneficial to both employers and employees. One advantage is that employers can save moneyowners can save more money. Clearly, providing dedicated office spaceconsidering a specific room for two or more employees, expenditures can become higher than the costs of working from homehigher than working from home because rental and utility bills can be decreased considerablyfar considerably. For example, a software engineercomputer software engineer can finish and send his project through the web at the end of the month; therefore, he can do his tasks from home, and less moneylesser funds will be spent on employing him overallspent for him totally. Another benefit is that people can save timesave their time. Obviously, travelling several hours a day, many employees have to spend their valuable time inon traffic jams, while it is unnecessary for them to commuteit is not necessary they commute between their home and workplace as they work from home. As a prime example, my brother, who is an electronic engineer, had to spend almost two hours daily between his home and workplace; however, as his employers allowed him to workaccepted he to do his duty from home, he has saved more than ten hours a week, and his performance has improved considerablyfundamentally. As a result, not only this method can be more economical, but less time-consuming. Besides, I believe that telecommuting will become a more common system in the future. One reason behind it is that individuals will have better accessa better access to a faster Internet. Undoubtedly, the Internet is an essential factor that assists employees to performachieve their duties, so as the speed of Internet develops, large amounts of workhuge works will be accomplished far easily from home, leading home jobs to become a commoner type of working. Furthermore, increasing traffic load, especially in sprawling cities, will encourage employers to give the green lightgive green light to this type of working. In conclusion, home jobs have had many important advantages to businesses and workers, not only in the matter of their expenses but time. From my point of view, advancement in the technology of Internet and aggravation of traffic problems will cause more employees to use this system of the job.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear explanation of cost and commuting-time benefits, supported by relevant examples. However, it only partly explores how society will be affected and devotes substantial space to why telecommuting will become more common, so the priority is to develop a broader set of direct social consequences while keeping every paragraph focused on the question.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents relevant benefits with developed examples, but its later discussion explains the growth of telecommuting rather than its effects on society.
Develop a wider range of direct societal consequences and ensure each main idea answers the stated question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clear paragraphs, with generally effective linking despite some repetitive and occasionally awkward transitions.
Use linking phrases more selectively and make the relationship between each paragraph and the central argument more explicit.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss work, costs, technology, and transport, but recurring unnatural collocations reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as “home jobs” and “huge works” with natural, context-specific vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, although agreement, article, word-form, and sentence-pattern errors recur.
Prioritise accurate clause structures and review articles, agreement, and comparative forms in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.