Some workplaces do not ensure the safety of workers who use dangerous equipment. What can be done? Who should take responsibilities to ensure safety at workplaces? What is your opinion on that?
Sample Response
It is seen in many places that a lot of accidents are caused due to lack of safety traininglack of awareness. Mostly, in the case of workers working in an industry with hazardous equipment. ‘DeleteToo Many Cooks Spoil The Broth’, in the same way instead of appointing many workers blindly there may be a drastic change if a worker who knows how to deala worker who knows to deal with the equipment is appointedis being granted.
Firstly, the reason behind one cause of accidents is a lackthe cause of accidents is the lack of literacy rate. For instance, if we consider the Chernobyl nuclear power plant disaster in Ukraine in the 20th century, this severely affected around 25 countriesthis affected severely around 25 countries, took many months to recover to genuine state. In addition to that, Steel industries involve a lot of equipmentSteel industries which involved lots of equipment to shape iron mouldsmake the iron mould to a particular shape, Workers try hard to complete work rather than to understand and complete in a smart way.
Moreover, large companies which deal with heavy equipment require huge staff members. In my opinion, it is the responsibility of the management who should take care of each worker’s progresseach and every worker progress and maintain up-to-date reportsmaintain till date report. Some people think that up to date progress of workers is a quite time-consuming process. But, eligibility criteria comecomes with regular correspondence, everyone who is capable of understanding in more effectively can give higher productivitya high productivity more obviously.
After discussing the pros and cons I conclude that a worker before dealing with heavy equipment has to know how to deal with ithas to be well known to deal with it. Otherwise, a small mistake may cost so many lives. It is also the each worker’s responsibilityresponsibility of oneself to take care, even though management provides several guidelines.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response presents a relevant position that both management and workers share responsibility, and it recognizes the importance of competence around dangerous equipment. However, several loosely connected examples and unclear expressions prevent the discussion from fully explaining practical safety measures. Prioritize a direct action plan covering training, inspections, protective equipment, and accountable supervision, and organize each paragraph around one clearly stated solution or responsibility.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay addresses workplace safety and responsibility, but the answer is only partly focused on the full question. Some ideas, such as literacy and Chernobyl, are not clearly connected to practical solutions.
State specific measures such as training, inspections, protective equipment, and employer accountability.
Coherence and Cohesion
There are paragraphs and some progression, but the sequence of ideas is loose. The idiom and conclusion do not clearly guide the reader.
Use direct topic sentences that answer what can be done and who is responsible.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary attempts topic-related language, but there are many awkward collocations and unclear expressions.
Use simpler accurate workplace-safety terms such as training, certification, maintenance records, and safety rules.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors in clauses, articles, capitalization, and sentence structure make some points difficult to follow.
Write shorter sentences and check that each clause has a clear subject and verb.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some workplaces do not ensure the safety of workers who use dangerous equipment. What can be done? Who should take responsibilities to ensure safety at workplaces? What is your opinion on that?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.