People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.
Sample Response
The people of the modernModern world are always in search of new pleasuresenjoyments and new attractions. While drugs are lifesavers when they are taken to treat health problemstaken for the health issue and prescribed by doctorsprescribed by the doctors, theyit can also be fatal if taken for temporary amusement. Many recreationalspecial drugs, pills and similar substancessimilar things of that kind are abused by young people and it is a big threat to the future of the next generationfuture of next generations of the society.
This habit starts with smoking and endsend in serious addiction tofatal addiction in some highlyseriously addictive substances. Because it is legal for the teenagers who are above the age of 16 in many crowded countries or smoke, they start smoking. Then, the issue gets worse and young people wantyouth want to experience more powerful substances for temporary joy and excitement. A large number of commentatorspractitioners think it is mainly the fault of parents and responsible relatives or friends. Because youth mostly follow their exampletake examples from them, any bad habit of parents would greatly influence the youth. The family disparity can very negatively affect youth and many times they abuse drugs to escape reality or difficult circumstancesget read of the reality or complexity. If parents smoke and drink alcohol, the young children might adoptadapt this habit easily.
Another peril is the people and friends with whom young people live and spend time. The groups of teenagers who abuse drugs might induce the innocents. A big cause of widespread drug use is exactly the influence of the environment and friends. Although well-mannered parents send their children to schools to get some quality educations and cultures, in some schools the drug abusers induce them to do wrong things.
In my opinion, some prevention measures have to be taken for the welfare of youth. School authority and teachers should make them well disciplined and manage a nice and rigid system in schools that would prevent young children to proceed to wrong ways. The government should make sure that the illegal substances and drugs are not available and should make sure no young people can get it without the authorised prescriptions and parental guidance. Parents should be more attached to their kids and should live ideal life to set an example for your kids.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is organised around relevant causes and offers several practical recommendations, so its general direction remains easy to follow. However, the required effects of youth drug use receive only brief, undeveloped mention, while frequent grammatical and word-choice errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to add a fully developed effects paragraph and express its ideas in clearer, more idiomatic sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response explains several causes and proposes relevant measures, but it gives very limited development to the requested effects of drug use.
Add a distinct paragraph that explains two concrete effects on young people or society with clear supporting detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable progression from causes to recommendations, though links within paragraphs are sometimes loose or repetitive.
Give each paragraph one clearly defined purpose and use explicit logical links between each cause, consequence, and example.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss the topic, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices sometimes obscure the intended meaning.
Replace awkward expressions with precise combinations such as become addicted, escape reality, adopt a habit, and peer pressure.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied and complex sentences, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, and sentence construction reduce control.
Prioritise accurate clause construction and subject-verb agreement, then proofread each sentence for articles, pronouns, and prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.