The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Reasons why adult people decide to study (figures in percentages)
Same question Compare 6 different answers
Sample Response
The bar chart depicts why adults chose to study and the pie chart shows the people's opinion about the cost distribution of this adult study. Overall it is evident that the most motivating factor for study among adults is due to their keen interest in the subject and the greatest proportion of the cost of study must be borne by the individual and the least must be borne by the taxpayer, according to people's opinion. Having an interest in the subject is a crucial factor that inspires adults to further pursue their academic studies. This is shown by the fact that 40 percent of them opt for this single reason. Similarly, even the zeal to gain higher qualifications persuades 38 percent of adults to choose to advance their level of study. On the other hand, reasons like a support for their incumbent job, building certainty in promotions and study as a leisure activity quite indulges adults to study. These are evident at 22 percent, 20 percent and 20 percent respectively chose to study for these reasons. A small group of 12 percent focus on studying to be able to switch their jobs. However, the least motivating factor to study is to make new acquaintances, only 9 percent. In addition to above, people opine that 40 percent of the adult education cost should be paid by themselves. On the other hand, employers and taxpayers have a comparatively lower share, in their opinion, at 35 percent and 25 percent respectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix possessive phrase Original: the people's opinion Suggested revision: people's opinions Why it matters: The generic plural possessive does not take the article the, and opinions should be plural here.
- 2. Describe cost sharing Original: cost distribution of this adult study Suggested revision: sharing of adult-education costs Why it matters: This phrase states the subject of the pie chart more naturally and precisely.
- 3. Remove redundancy Original: further pursue their academic studies Suggested revision: pursue further study Why it matters: The revision avoids the redundant combination of further, pursue, and studies.
- 4. Keep past tense Original: opt for this single reason Suggested revision: selected this reason Why it matters: The survey results should be reported consistently in the past tense.
- 5. Use neutral wording Original: even the zeal Suggested revision: the desire Why it matters: Desire is a more precise and neutral term for the survey category.
- 6. Match the category Original: higher qualifications Suggested revision: qualifications Why it matters: The chart says gain qualifications and does not specify that they are higher qualifications.
- 7. Simplify the phrase Original: choose to advance their level of study Suggested revision: continue studying Why it matters: The original phrase is wordy and does not express the reason naturally.
- 8. Correct tense and subject Original: A small group of 12 percent focus on studying Suggested revision: A smaller group of 12 percent studied Why it matters: The survey is reported in the past, and the percentage refers to respondents rather than a group that focuses.
- 9. Use chart wording Original: switch their jobs Suggested revision: change jobs Why it matters: Change jobs is the natural expression and matches the chart category.
- 10. Match the survey category Original: to make new acquaintances, only 9 percent Suggested revision: meeting people, at only 9 percent Why it matters: The chart specifically labels this reason as meeting people.
- 11. Add missing article Original: In addition to above Suggested revision: In addition to the above Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the definite article before above.
- 12. Use survey language Original: people opine that Suggested revision: respondents thought that Why it matters: This wording is clearer and more appropriate for reporting survey opinions.
Suggested Rewrites
- the people's opinion people's opinions
- cost distribution of this adult study sharing of adult-education costs
- further pursue their academic studies pursue further study
- opt for this single reason selected this reason
- even the zeal the desire
- higher qualifications qualifications
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response accurately covers every reason for study and all three proposed cost shares, with a clear overview highlighting the largest and smallest categories. Its main limitation is uneven language control: several awkward collocations and grammatical constructions reduce fluency, while the single-block organisation weakens presentation. Prioritise dividing the report into logical paragraphs and expressing comparisons with more natural, grammatically complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately reports all categories and percentages from both charts.
Refine the analysis by grouping and comparing the middle-ranking reasons more directly rather than listing them sequentially.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a logical order and cohesive markers guide the reader, but the entire report is presented as one dense paragraph.
Separate the overview, reasons for study, and cost-sharing data into distinct paragraphs with clear internal grouping.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and generally conveys the data clearly, although several expressions are unnatural or imprecise.
Replace awkward wording such as "quite indulges adults" and "building certainty in promotions" with conventional comparative language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but recurring agreement, article, and sentence-construction errors remain noticeable.
Rewrite incomplete or tangled comparisons as full clauses and check agreement between plural reasons, percentages, and their verbs.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Reasons why adult people decide to study (figures in percentages)
Your response
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