The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Reasons why adult people decide to study (figures in percentages)
Sample Response
The given bar graph represents the different causes that provoke the adults to continue their education whereas the pie chart illustrates the opinion of people on how the proportion of course fee is to be distributed.
A majority of people are deeply indulged in their favourite subjects and dream to master in them. 38% of them want to gain qualifications to compete in the society. Out of 100, 22 people find it helpful for their current jobs. An equal number of students enjoy studying and the same 20 while another 20% anxiously wait for their promotions. Individuals who would like to change their jobs are just 12% of them and 9% are those who would like to enhance their friend's circle continue education.
According to the survey, the pie chart’s largest sector, 40%, represents the people who think that individuals should pay for their study. 35% people state that the employers and the remaining 25% think that taxpayers should pay the cost of the adult study.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral wording Original: causes that provoke the adults Suggested revision: reasons that prompt adults Why it matters: Reasons prompt people to study, whereas provoke is inappropriate in this context.
- 2. Punctuate the contrast Original: education whereas Suggested revision: education, whereas Why it matters: A comma is needed before whereas when it joins these two independent clauses.
- 3. Use the plural Original: the opinion of people Suggested revision: people's opinions Why it matters: The chart summarises the opinions of multiple respondents.
- 4. Describe cost sharing Original: the proportion of course fee is to be distributed Suggested revision: course costs should be shared Why it matters: The chart concerns who should bear the costs, rather than distributing a proportion of one fee.
- 5. Avoid a false majority Original: A majority of people Suggested revision: The largest group, 40%, Why it matters: Interest in the subject is the leading reason at 40%, which is less than a majority.
- 6. Use chart wording Original: deeply indulged in Suggested revision: interested in Why it matters: Interested in accurately expresses the reason shown in the chart.
- 7. Fix the verb pattern Original: dream to master in them Suggested revision: want to study them further Why it matters: Master does not take in with a subject in this construction.
- 8. Clarify the group Original: 38% of them Suggested revision: Thirty-eight percent of respondents Why it matters: Respondents provides a clear referent and is appropriate for survey data.
- 9. Remove invented purpose Original: to compete in the society Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The chart gives gaining qualifications as the reason and does not mention competing in society.
- 10. Report the percentage Original: Out of 100, 22 people Suggested revision: Twenty-two percent of respondents Why it matters: The visual presents percentages, so the figure should be reported directly as a percentage.
- 11. State the reason Original: find it helpful for their current jobs Suggested revision: study because it is helpful for their current jobs Why it matters: The revision supplies the missing study action and makes the relationship explicit.
- 12. Express the share Original: are just 12% of them Suggested revision: account for 12% Why it matters: A group accounts for a percentage rather than being a percentage of them.
Suggested Rewrites
- causes that provoke the adults reasons that prompt adults
- education whereas education, whereas
- the opinion of people people's opinions
- the proportion of course fee is to be distributed course costs should be shared
- A majority of people The largest group, 40%,
- deeply indulged in interested in
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response's strongest feature is that it includes all seven study reasons and accurately reports the three proposed cost shares. The main limitation is the absence of a clear overview, compounded by describing the 40% interest figure as a majority and offering few meaningful comparisons. Prioritise a concise overview that identifies the leading reasons and the descending cost shares, then revise awkward or incomplete sentences for precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most figures are included and the pie chart is accurately covered, but there is no overview, the largest bar is mischaracterised as a majority, and comparisons are limited.
State that interest and qualifications lead the reasons, meeting people ranks last, and individuals are expected to bear the largest cost share.
Coherence and Cohesion
Separating the introduction, bar chart, and pie chart gives the report a recognisable progression, though references within the bar-chart paragraph are sometimes unclear.
Organise the reasons into high, middle, and low groups and connect equal figures with one precise comparison.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied vocabulary, but frequent unnatural choices such as causes that provoke, deeply indulged, and anxiously wait make the description imprecise.
Prefer neutral survey language such as respondents study because of interest, qualifications, promotion prospects, or social contact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex forms are attempted, but agreement, article, possessive, and clause-construction errors are frequent and occasionally obscure meaning.
Write complete reporting clauses with explicit verbs, especially when stating who respondents believe should pay each share.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Reasons why adult people decide to study (figures in percentages)
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.