The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Reasons why adult people decide to study (figures in percentages)
Sample Response
The graphs reveal the outputs of a research through education for adults. The first picture describes the motivation of adult who determines to study. The second picture unveils people’s opinion about how the cost of adult education should be done together.
The data supplied indicate that the major factor of adult education is due to attraction to subjects. However, meeting new people is considered as the least favoured purpose to study. Meanwhile, other varieties of assumptions on how adult education cost should be paid are presented in the second picture. Individual spending becomes the most chosen among the given options.
As being seen, the majority of adult prefer to get a study because of interest in subjects. Indeed, it gives 40 percent and indicates as the most favourable option compared to others. Nevertheless, adding new friends is definitely the lowest criteria with just under 10 percent.
Furthermore, the next graph provides clear information about the way of education costs in every course has to be dealt. It shows that the individuals should share the maximum cost as the highest percentage, with exactly 40 percent, should be managed by them. In contrast, taxpayers should bear 25% of this cost and the remaining cost, 35% should be supported by the employers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Unnatural collocation Original: outputs of a research Suggested revision: results of a survey Why it matters: This is the standard phrase for reported survey data.
- 2. Wrong preposition Original: through education for adults Suggested revision: on adult education Why it matters: The survey concerns adult education.
- 3. Number and verb form Original: motivation of adult who determines Suggested revision: motivations of adults who decide Why it matters: Plural adults and a natural verb are required.
- 4. Unclear cost phrase Original: cost of adult education should be done together Suggested revision: costs of adult education should be shared Why it matters: Costs are shared, not done together.
- 5. Imprecise reason Original: due to attraction to subjects Suggested revision: an interest in the subject Why it matters: This accurately reflects the chart label.
- 6. Awkward noun phrase Original: other varieties of assumptions Suggested revision: different opinions Why it matters: The shorter plural phrase is grammatical and precise.
- 7. Match chart category Original: Individual spending Suggested revision: Payments by individuals Why it matters: This names the cost-sharing category clearly.
- 8. Faulty opener Original: As being seen Suggested revision: As can be seen Why it matters: Use the fixed reporting expression.
- 9. Plural agreement Original: majority of adult prefer Suggested revision: largest proportion of adults prefer Why it matters: Adults must be plural and the chart shows a proportion, not a majority.
- 10. Wrong collocation Original: get a study Suggested revision: study Why it matters: English uses the verb study directly here.
- 11. Unclear reference Original: it gives 40 percent Suggested revision: this reason accounts for 40 percent Why it matters: Name what the percentage represents.
- 12. Use chart wording Original: adding new friends Suggested revision: meeting people Why it matters: This matches the category shown in the chart.
Suggested Rewrites
- outputs of a research results of a survey
- through education for adults on adult education
- motivation of adult who determines motivations of adults who decide
- cost of adult education should be done together costs of adult education should be shared
- due to attraction to subjects an interest in the subject
- other varieties of assumptions different opinions
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear overview of the dominant and least popular study motives and accurately reports all three cost shares. Its main weakness is limited coverage of the first chart, where five middle categories are omitted, while frequent awkward collocations and grammar errors reduce precision; prioritise fuller key-feature comparisons and more natural noun and verb phrases.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A relevant overview identifies the main extremes and the cost chart is accurately covered, but most study-reason categories are omitted.
Compare the leading reasons with at least two middle and lower categories, using the chart's exact percentages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is divided into logical introduction, overview and detail paragraphs, though progression is sometimes repetitive.
Group the reasons chart and cost chart into separate detail paragraphs and avoid repeating the overview.
Lexical Resource
There is some range, but frequent unnatural word choices such as 'outputs of a research' and 'get a study' reduce precision.
Use standard Task 1 collocations such as 'survey results', 'reasons for studying' and 'share the costs'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear, but agreement, article, plural and clause-control errors occur frequently.
Check every noun phrase for articles and number, then simplify sentences with multiple passive clauses.