The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.
Sample Response
The provided bar graph and pie-chart demonstrate the result of a survey related to adult education. The former chart indicates the reasons why grown-ups decide to study while the latter displays how their academic costs should be dealt with. Overall, a large number of grown-ups persuade further education due to their interests in subjects while others for a better career prospect. Individuals, employer and tax-payer should bear the cost of adult education, according to participants of the survey. In details, 4 out of 10 adults continue their education due to their passion for subjects while 38% enrol in further education to enhance their job qualifications. Two such adults, out of ten, study to be promoted in their jobs while a similar ratio of people study since they enjoy learning. 12% continue further study to change their current jobs while the remaining 9% do it to gain skills to interact with others. Furthermore, 40% people perceive that adult education cost should be paid by individuals followed by 35% employers' and a quarter opines that it should be collected from the tax-payers.
[ Author - Manisha ]
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary hyphen Original: pie-chart Suggested revision: pie chart Why it matters: The standard compound noun is written without a hyphen.
- 2. Use plural noun Original: result Suggested revision: results Why it matters: The response reports several findings, so the plural noun is required.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: grown-ups decide Suggested revision: adults decide Why it matters: Adults is more appropriate than the informal term grown-ups in an academic report.
- 4. Clarify the costs Original: academic Suggested revision: education Why it matters: Education costs refers more precisely to the course costs shown in the chart.
- 5. Describe cost sharing Original: dealt with Suggested revision: shared Why it matters: Shared accurately reflects what the pie chart presents.
- 6. Use plural noun Original: employer Suggested revision: employers Why it matters: Employers must be plural to match the groups represented in the chart.
- 7. Use plural noun Original: and tax-payer should Suggested revision: and taxpayers should Why it matters: Taxpayers must be plural because the chart refers to this group generally.
- 8. Express shared payment Original: bear the cost Suggested revision: share the costs Why it matters: The chart assigns proportions of the costs to three groups rather than making each group bear the full cost.
- 9. Improve collocation Original: participants of the survey Suggested revision: survey participants Why it matters: Survey participants is the natural concise expression for the people who responded.
- 10. Use fixed phrase Original: details Suggested revision: detail Why it matters: The fixed introductory phrase is In detail.
- 11. Match chart wording Original: their passion for subjects Suggested revision: an interest in a subject Why it matters: The chart records interest in a subject, while passion is a stronger unsupported description.
- 12. Report category accurately Original: enhance their job qualifications Suggested revision: gain qualifications Why it matters: Gain qualifications is the category stated in the bar chart.
Suggested Rewrites
- pie-chart pie chart
- result results
- grown-ups decide adults decide
- academic education
- dealt with shared
- employer employers
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and accurately covers most of the principal figures, especially the two leading study motivations and the complete cost-sharing breakdown. Its main limitation is incomplete and occasionally imprecise selection: the 22% current-job category is omitted and meeting people is loosely recast. Prioritise a systematic comparison of every significant category, then refine collocations and agreement so the otherwise clear report sounds more precise and controlled.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate figures address both charts well, although the 22% current-job reason is omitted and the 9% category is imprecisely paraphrased.
Cover every significant category and preserve the chart labels' meaning when paraphrasing them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses logically from chart identification and overview to details, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph weakens structural clarity.
Separate the introduction, overview, and grouped details into purposeful paragraphs while retaining the clear comparative progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, but awkward choices such as "grown-ups persuade further education" and repeated wording reduce precision and naturalness.
Use more natural academic collocations such as "adults pursue further education" and vary repeated references accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates meaning clearly, though agreement, article, and possessive errors recur in phrases such as "40% people" and "a quarter opines".
Check quantifier structures, subject-verb agreement, and possessive forms systematically during proofreading.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.