The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
This response is estimated at Band 5.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The pie chart provides a visual representation of the main reasons of land degradationthe land degradation,namely over-grazinggazing, over-cultivation, deforestation and other naturalnanural and human factors, in three regions of the world in the 1990sin 1990s.
Overall, based on the pie chart, over-grazingpie chart over-grazing was the most frequent cause of soil degradation, while other factors reported the lowest proportionuptake.
Over-grazing had the highest percentage among other causes, 35% out of 100%. This is followed by the deforestation process, which is another key factorfactors of the decrease in landdecrease of the land productivity. It accounted forIt is accounted for 30% of the overall percentage. Deforestation is closely followedled by over-cultivation. Approximately 28% of the damage to agricultural landdamage to the lands in the 1990s was caused1990 is caused by severe cultivation processes worldwide.conducted by farmers in three regions of the world.
Lastly, other natural and human factors, which are not specifically mentioned in the pie chart, accounted forfactors, which are not specifically mentioned on the pie chart, is accounted for 7%, the lowest percentage offrom all the reasons of the severe land degradation.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The essay effectively describes the pie chart data but completely omits the accompanying table displaying regional comparisons. To significantly improve the score, all parts of the visual prompt must be addressed in the description. Additionally, refining word choice and correcting grammatical subject-verb agreement will enhance overall clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response describes the pie chart clearly but completely omits the data presented in the table.
Ensure all visuals in the prompt are reported and compared in the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized into paragraphs with a broad sense of progression, though overall cohesion suffers from missing content.
Group data logically across both visuals using appropriate transition words to connect paragraph topics.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate to cover the pie chart, but contains inaccurate word choices like 'uptake' and spelling errors.
Focus on precise lexical choices suited for data description and proofread carefully to eliminate typographical errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Structures are mostly simple with noticeable errors in tense, preposition use, and passive verb formation.
Practice correct passive structures such as 'accounted for' and maintain consistent past tense when describing historical data.