The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The chart provides a visual representation of the residents'residents coffee and tea purchasing habits in five Australian citiesfive cities of Australia, namely Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart.
Overall, Melbourne, Hobart and Sydney reported the highest percentage of people who went to a cafe for coffee or teafor a coffee or a tea in the last four weekswithin a month. This is in sharp contrast with Brisbane and Adelaide with the lowest percentage of citizens who visited a cafebought fresh coffee in the last month.
Melbourne was the highest proportionat the peak of the graph, at nearly 64%, with the percentage of people who bought coffee or tea in a cafe. This was followed by Hobart with roughly 63% and Sydney with approximately 61%. Brisbane and Adelaide reported the lowest figures, at roughly 55% and just under 50% respectively.lowest percentage.
As for those who bought instant coffee, Hobart and Brisbane reported verynearly similar percentages, about 53-54%. Adelaide was the third in terms of instant coffee buyers. while Sydney was atAnd Sydney is at approximately 45%.
Turning to fresh coffee,Furthermore, the lowest percentage of citizens spent their money on fresh coffee in the last 4 weeksin last 4 weeks. Starting with Sydney and Melbourne at roughly 42% and Sydney at nearly 44%Melbourne at nearly 43-44%, followed by Hobart at around 38%which is followed by Hobart. Lastly, Brisbane and Adelaide reported the similar proportions of just under 35%same percentage, approximately 35%.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report effectively summarizes the main trends of the bar chart, accurately highlighting key categories and comparing data across the five Australian cities. Organization and vocabulary usage are generally sound, allowing for clear communication of the visual data. To achieve a higher level of performance, sentence structure needs refinement to eliminate fragment errors, and specific data points should be fully integrated across all descriptions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main features are well-selected and reported with an effective overall summary of the key trends.
Ensure every mentioned group, such as Hobart in the fresh coffee section, includes its corresponding figure to avoid missing data points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into distinct paragraphs based on the coffee buying categories, maintaining a clear overall flow.
Vary linking words and introductory phrases across paragraphs to reduce reliance on repetitive structures.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary is used appropriately to present figures and compare categories.
Incorporate a wider variety of descriptive terms for statistical proportions and ranking to enhance lexical flexibility.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex and simple structures is attempted, though minor punctuation and incomplete sentence structures occur.
Ensure every written clause contains a proper main verb and subject to prevent sentence fragments.