We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Sample Response
Ever since our childhood, we have been learning that necessity is the mother of invention. Now in this global era, it seems to be really true. In future technology will have tremendous effects on our societies, global environment and on the economy. After few decades the world will be using much more advanced technology than the present. For the sake of argument, as today’s generation seems to be amazed when they listen that people used to carry a two square inch floppy disk for just 64 MB two decades before. In this essay, I will discuss the impacts of technology on our future.
Today whatever advanced technology we have it has made survival of human being easier and reverse is true if we are misusing it. Solving complex business issues, collecting and creating solid forensic evidence and even while taking help from autopilot at the altitude 37000 feet and more, all these useful advancements in technology has created a hot debate that in future where technology can go further.
Nowadays scientists are also worried about global warming issues, that shows significant effects of industrialisation to which world is going towards. In future, technology will be so advanced that travel between one corner of the world to another one will be more luxurious and short, leading superpowers of the world will make their defence more strong, alternate energy resources may replace conventional one, use of technology especially information technology will bring world closer and closer.
In the end, I believe that a sufficient amount of money should be allotted in the budget as of technology improvement, so environmental issues may be addressed substantially and international law enforcing agencies should remain proactive to play their role in perceiving and addressing local and international breaches of labour and environmental laws respectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add article and comma Original: In future technology Suggested revision: In the future, technology Why it matters: The time phrase requires the definite article and a following comma.
- 2. Make list parallel Original: our societies, global environment and on the economy Suggested revision: our societies, the global environment and the economy Why it matters: Parallel noun phrases should use consistent articles and omit the repeated preposition.
- 3. Add article Original: After few decades Suggested revision: In a few decades Why it matters: The countable phrase 'few decades' requires an article, and 'in' is the natural future-time preposition.
- 4. Complete comparison Original: technology than the present Suggested revision: technology than it does at present Why it matters: The comparison needs a clause that explicitly compares future and present usage.
- 5. Use natural noun phrase Original: survival of human being Suggested revision: human survival Why it matters: 'Human survival' is the concise and grammatically natural expression.
- 6. Add article Original: and reverse is true Suggested revision: whereas the reverse is true Why it matters: 'The reverse' requires the definite article, and 'whereas' marks the contrast clearly.
- 7. Use simple present Original: if we are misusing it Suggested revision: if we misuse it Why it matters: The simple present is appropriate for this general conditional statement.
- 8. Use concise expression Original: while taking help from autopilot Suggested revision: using autopilot Why it matters: 'Use autopilot' is the natural collocation for the activity described.
- 9. Fix measurement phrase Original: at the altitude 37000 feet and more Suggested revision: at altitudes of 37,000 feet or more Why it matters: The measurement requires 'of', and the plural fits the stated range.
- 10. Fix subject agreement Original: has Suggested revision: have Why it matters: The plural subject 'advancements' requires 'have'.
- 11. Fix clause order Original: in future where technology can go further Suggested revision: how much further technology can advance in the future Why it matters: The revision forms a grammatical embedded question and uses a precise verb.
- 12. Use concise wording Original: a sufficient amount of money Suggested revision: sufficient funding Why it matters: 'Funding' concisely refers to money allocated for a stated purpose.
Suggested Rewrites
- In future technology In the future, technology
- our societies, global environment and on the economy our societies, the global environment and the economy
- After few decades In a few decades
- technology than the present technology than it does at present
- survival of human being human survival
- and reverse is true whereas the reverse is true
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers several relevant predictions about future technology and shows some ability to develop a broad discussion. However, it largely fails to answer whether dependence on computers is beneficial or deserves suspicion, and the conclusion shifts toward funding and law enforcement without resolving that question. The highest-priority improvement is to state a clear position on computer dependence and build a focused paragraph that justifies it with specific risks and benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives some future applications, but it only partially addresses the task and lacks a clear position on dependence.
Answer the second question explicitly and develop that position with balanced, relevant reasons rather than unrelated recommendations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a basic structure, but progression is uneven and several long sentences combine loosely connected ideas.
Give each paragraph one controlling idea and use shorter, clearly linked sentences to develop it.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for the topic and some ambitious wording, but frequent inaccurate collocations reduce clarity and naturalness.
Prefer precise forms such as faster travel, stronger defence, and investment in technology over awkward comparative or prepositional phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex sentences, yet frequent errors in articles, agreement, comparison, and clause structure sometimes strain comprehension.
Control sentence boundaries and basic noun phrases before combining multiple predictions into complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.