We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Sample Response
The invention of the computer is referred to as a landmark among the technological breakthroughsan epic among the other technological breakthroughs of the last centuryof last century. The role of computers in today’s lifestyle has reached greater heights than anyone could ever have imaginedsuch dizzy heights than anyone could ever imagine. NotablyRighteously, its use in various fields of medicine, crime investigation and even aerospace engineering is evidentexplicit. In the midst of a computer-driven world, their future applications are limitlessits future purposes are infinite. The affinity that humans have developedThe affinity that human has developed for this technologytechnological gizmo is immensemammoth, and this dependency, for many, is debatablefor many is moot.
In the present scenario, the majority of fields on which humanity reliesmajority of the fields, mankind thrives on are revolutionised by computers. TheirIts significance in the medical field, for instance, is considerableis quite imperative. For example, from the safeguarding of patient medical records to the automated and meticulous interpretation of investigation reports, are computerised. The role of computers in crime investigation is rather inevitable nowadays. Global satellite tracking on personal gadgets of criminals to chase them down would exemplify this. Another significant technological impact computers made is in aero-spacing, where, even flying an aircraft has become computerised, dubious whether Charles Babbage envisaged the same?
The future use of computers by humankindby the humankind is endless. To name or pinpoint on its future prospectsprospectives, would be cumbersome or rather impossible. Some believe that in near future, computers will serve the purpose of being the 'first hand 'of help to humans. A globalised world under the umbrella of the computer revolution is not farsighted as before. The very existence computer operated human robots that could even replace a human, is not a myth anymore.
Now having discoursed, about the computer revolution and its effects on mankind, a question of one getting dependent on computers is impeccable. In this globalised world, computer addiction is a major unaddressed concerna major concern unattended. Children spending long hours on computers and its misuse in workplaces by employees is ubiquitous and a generally accorded bane.
In my opinion, as humans, weone should be able to imbibe the virtues and reject the vice, when it comes to using computers.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure and attempts to discuss future applications as well as the risks of dependence, using a broad vocabulary. However, the future-use discussion is narrow and the final position remains vague, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical faults weaken clarity. The priority is to state a definite judgement and support it with developed future examples and balanced reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are touched on, but future uses receive limited development and the writer's judgement about dependence is unclear.
State clearly whether dependence is beneficial or concerning, then develop two plausible future applications with consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides an overall sequence, although progression is weakened by digressions, abrupt statements, and faulty sentence connections.
Organise the body around one paragraph on future uses and one on the evaluation of dependence.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a wide vocabulary, but frequent inappropriate collocations and word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Prefer accurate everyday terms and revise misused expressions such as "future prospectives," "impeccable," and "accorded bane."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is some structural variety, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, punctuation, and sentence construction impair control.
Practise forming complete complex sentences with clear subjects and verbs, then check article and agreement accuracy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.