We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Sample Response
We are living in an ultra modern tech-time and the computer is the greatest invention of this 21st century. The sky touching demand of computer exists in each and every sector of our life. Hence the dependency on it is increasing significantly. Nowadays, hardly any sector can be found where a computer is not used and I think it is going to spread out more, in near future.
From my point of analysis, computers are going to take place of many professionals like doctors, engineers or legal advisors very soon. Maybe these days are not so far when we would consult with supercomputers in regards to our health issues or any legal advice instead of the professional body. Moreover, I believe, some especial utilisation of computer like flying plane would be used randomly in our future daily life. For instance, It will not be surprising at all if computers are going to be our future car driver or traffic controller.
Without any doubt, the computer is one of the blessings of modern science which makes our life more convenient. However, it is believed that mass utilisation of computer can be harmful to our health and social life. The critics are also skeptical about its benefits due to the negative aspects, circularising throw it like cyber crime or least physical movements of the human body. Despite these issues, I suppose computer is a fundamental need of people nowadays. The computer has reduced the workload and saved the precious time which may possibly be used in more productive works or resolving some alarming global problems like finding the cure for the fatal disease, preventing terrorism and war, or settlement for refugees.
In conclusion, I believe computer will be used in every sector of our life in near future and we will become free from such kind of typical responsibilities to do something great for the betterment of our next generation as well as our planet.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural expression Original: tech-time Suggested revision: technological age Why it matters: This phrase conveys the intended period in natural English.
- 2. Correct the determiner Original: this Suggested revision: the Why it matters: A named century normally takes the definite article here.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: sky touching demand Suggested revision: soaring demand Why it matters: This is the standard collocation for rapidly increasing demand.
- 4. Use plural reference Original: each and every sector of our life Suggested revision: every sector of our lives Why it matters: The plural noun lives agrees with the implied reference to people generally.
- 5. Choose the usual noun Original: the dependency on it Suggested revision: dependence on it Why it matters: Dependence is the more natural noun for reliance on technology.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: spread out more, in near future Suggested revision: spread further in the near future Why it matters: Spread further expresses increasing use, and near future requires the definite article.
- 7. Use a clear viewpoint Original: From my point of analysis Suggested revision: In my view Why it matters: The original phrase is not an idiomatic way to introduce an opinion.
- 8. Add the article Original: take place of Suggested revision: take the place of Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the definite article.
- 9. Use idiomatic phrasing Original: Maybe these days are not so far Suggested revision: Perhaps the day is not far off Why it matters: This idiom naturally introduces a prediction about a future event.
- 10. Remove the preposition Original: consult with supercomputers Suggested revision: consult supercomputers Why it matters: Consult takes a direct object when it means seek advice from a source.
- 11. Use standard expression Original: in regards to Suggested revision: regarding Why it matters: Regarding is concise and avoids the nonstandard form in regards to.
- 12. Clarify the reference Original: the professional body Suggested revision: the relevant professionals Why it matters: Professional body usually means an organization rather than individual advisers.
Suggested Rewrites
- tech-time technological age
- this the
- sky touching demand soaring demand
- each and every sector of our life every sector of our lives
- the dependency on it dependence on it
- spread out more, in near future spread further in the near future
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, generally positive position and addresses both future applications and the value of growing computer dependence with relevant examples. Its main limitation is that several ideas remain broad or speculative, while frequent unnatural phrasing weakens precision. The highest priority is to develop one or two predictions more concretely and express them through accurate, natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed with a clear position and relevant ideas, although some support remains broad or speculative.
Develop fewer future uses in greater depth by explaining their practical effects and linking each example directly to the position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure gives the response a clear overall progression, despite some mechanical linking and loosely connected details.
Strengthen paragraph unity by giving each body paragraph one precise controlling idea and ordering its support logically.
Lexical Resource
The response shows an adequate range and attempts ambitious vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations reduce naturalness and precision.
Prioritize reliable combinations such as widespread computer use, replace professionals, and reduce physical activity over forced expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, though article, number, preposition, and sentence-control errors recur.
Edit systematically for articles and singular-plural agreement, then simplify long sentences whose clauses are not securely controlled.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.