We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Sample Response
Computers are relatively new invention and it's been only 50 years or so when the first computer was evolved and till then computers have become an inevitable part of our life and we cannot think even a single day without the uses of computers. From a small departmental shop to a large corporate business, from traffic signal controlling to launching rockets, the computer is a must. Again hospitals, offices, defence & intelligent departments, educational institutes use computers at every level of their work and service. To understand that, we will just have to go to a bank, where account holders' information and other financial figures are kept on a server computer. If anything goes wrong with the server computer, the result is overwhelming and devastating. Similarly, in a hospital where all data and medical records are stored in computers and even these computers are used to do many intricate operations. Any error with the computers can affect lots of human lives. It seems that computers are a very vital part of the current world and as the speed and capability of computers increasing day by day, we are becoming more dependent. From personal entertainment to collecting outer-space data, from traffic controlling to DNA research, computers are the main tools to depend on.
In the future, researchers will use computers and the Artificial Intelligence to bring out the result from most of the research. Human will try to gather more data on outer world and the computer systems and computer controlled machines will be used to find a suitable alternative for the world to live in. Scientists will invade inner-sea environment for more resources. The education system will be mostly dependent on computers. As Artificial Intelligence will improve in future, so will the robotics to replace humans by computers to do most of the jobs. Lie detectors and DNA testing system will be flawless and the criminal investigating departments will use the computers to find the clues of any crime. Satellite communications and internet would be a part of our lives and all the present communication systems like fax, mail or telegram will be just history for the next coming generation. Most people will read from a computer screen and will write through a keyboard or voice recognition systems. In short, Computer will be used in almost all levels of life from playing video games till digital cyber war in future.
Throughout the history, human always invented and still trying to invent new tools and machines to make our lives more secure and easy. But no other single device or tool had been so influential like the computer. Day by day we're becoming more and more dependent upon computers. In my opinion, we cannot stop using computers or even we can't lessen the uses of computers. The development of technology will follow its own track no matter what we think about it. Dependency is necessary but too much of it can be malevolent for the whole human race when it comes in term of computers. So we must make sure that we are controlling machines, not the machines controlling us. We don't want a scenario like the famous Hollywood movie "Terminator", where human fighting for their existence against their own created machines.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix noun agreement Original: invention Suggested revision: inventions Why it matters: The plural subject 'Computers' requires a plural count noun.
- 2. Use since correctly Original: it's been only 50 years or so when Suggested revision: it has been only about 50 years since Why it matters: Use 'since' to mark the starting point of an elapsed period.
- 3. Choose correct verb Original: evolved Suggested revision: developed Why it matters: Computers are developed, while 'evolve' is not normally used transitively in this sense.
- 4. Correct time link Original: till Suggested revision: since Why it matters: 'Since then' connects a past starting point with subsequent development.
- 5. Use gerund form Original: without the uses of computers Suggested revision: without using computers Why it matters: The gerund expresses the activity naturally after 'without'.
- 6. Correct department term Original: defence & intelligent departments Suggested revision: defence and intelligence departments Why it matters: 'Intelligence' names the relevant government function, while 'intelligent' describes mental ability.
- 7. Add finite verb Original: as the speed and capability of computers increasing day by day Suggested revision: as the speed and capabilities of computers increase day by day Why it matters: The clause needs a finite verb, and the coordinated qualities are clearer in plural form.
- 8. Use natural phrasing Original: to Suggested revision: we Why it matters: The relative-clause form expresses reliance more naturally.
- 9. Remove article Original: the Artificial Intelligence Suggested revision: artificial intelligence Why it matters: The uncountable general concept takes no definite article or capitalization here.
- 10. Use research collocation Original: bring out the result from most of the research Suggested revision: obtain results from most research Why it matters: Researchers obtain results rather than bring out the result.
- 11. Use plural noun Original: Human Suggested revision: Humans Why it matters: Use the plural noun when referring to people generally.
- 12. Correct sea wording Original: invade inner-sea environment Suggested revision: explore the deep-sea environment Why it matters: Scientists explore an environment; they do not invade it in this research context.
Suggested Rewrites
- invention inventions
- it's been only 50 years or so when it has been only about 50 years since
- evolved developed
- till since
- without the uses of computers without using computers
- defence & intelligent departments defence and intelligence departments
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response fully engages with both future computer uses and the risks of dependence, offering a broad range of relevant examples and a clear cautionary position. Its main limitation is that lengthy lists and repetitive present-day background reduce focus, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors weaken precision. The highest priority is to select fewer examples, develop them more analytically, and edit systematically for articles, agreement, verb forms, and natural word combinations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed with a clear position and many relevant ideas, although some examples are listed rather than fully analysed.
Select two or three likely future uses and explain their implications before weighing specific benefits against concrete risks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a logical three-part progression, but very long paragraphs, repeated points, and extended lists weaken focus and balance.
Divide the discussion into shorter purpose-led paragraphs and use topic sentences to separate future applications from judgments about dependence.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad vocabulary and attempts less common language, but frequent collocational and word-choice errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Check less familiar expressions before using them and replace awkward combinations with accurate phrases for research, artificial intelligence, dependence, and risk.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied and complex sentences, but recurring errors in articles, agreement, verb forms, and clause construction remain noticeable throughout.
Prioritize complete clause structures and systematically proofread articles, singular-plural agreement, and tense consistency in every paragraph.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.